Desire

When you were leaving for a unique desire,
The spirit of my normal wish, drooped
Under the clumsyness of my skin,
In an era of whist, when emotions remain
Coiled, or like a barren womb,
A paralyzed cloud of feeling could not
Shed love on unsound reason,
Yes, I am insipid in my intoxicated nature,
Who shed voluptuousness of its skin,
In utter disgust and in search of truth,
And truth was always my El-dorado,
Ocean, I took you to merge myself,
Compose me and give me rhythm,
I am a mad in my composition, as
My unique desire is my normal wish.

Reviews

[Mayank]

This is a very good write when you are very much clear with the things you want/desire. There are lines which are beautifully crafted and are quite matured, these are things we must understand and follow... it was refreshing, like blowing an old dust from window sill.

[hardeep sabharwal]

Thankyou so much mayank :)

[MomzillaNC]

Moving imagery

NOTES: Spelling correction: "clumsiness"
It's not one lowercase word, "elderado," rather, it's a place name, " El Dorado"

[hardeep sabharwal]

Thankyou for a helpful review MomzillaNC

[MomzillaNC]

You're welcome.

[AprilRN1210]

this had a silent, gentle power rumbling with it that just flowed beautifully.. I could feel the internal turmoil thundering with the crashing of the waves.. it was moving, but subtly so.. it was tender and deep.. the best kind that silently washes you away.. what I enjoy most about your writings, is that they contain this air of intellectually stimulating thought, but strong emotion that doesn't overpower.. they are woven skillfully and elegantly.. another lovely write, my friend.. :)

[hardeep sabharwal]

Thankyou so much AprilRN, glad you liked it

[AprilRN1210]

you're welcome... it is always a pleasure.

[Sami Khalil]

You compose splendid merging of powerful expressions and meanings to accompany them. Bravo, sir...:).............

[hardeep sabharwal]

Thankyou so much sami

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome...:).........

[jennifer little]

loved this poem keep up the good work .... nicely writen and nicely said

[hardeep sabharwal]

Thanks a lot jens books

[jennifer little]

your welcome

[Sindu]

Really liked the way this goes. A deep and strong expressive voice.

[hardeep sabharwal]

thanks a lot sindu

[M.A.Rathore]

Fantastic composition on your unique desire in search of truth from the insipid nature which never fall out clumsiness...
Keep express like that..

[hardeep sabharwal]

Thankyou so much sir :)

[M.A.Rathore]

I think you are to be thanked for the suggestions....how to comment...Heartiest thanks

[Ryan Henderson]

This poem is god, I like the line 'trith has always been my Eldorado' and quite a fitting name indeed for this poem. Great work!

[hardeep sabharwal]

Thankyou Ryan, I feel word good is miss spelled to god,
thankyou for liking

[KWP]

well this is fabulous ... I am loving the last two lines in particular ... what a run of thought and imagery ... well done xx

[hardeep sabharwal]

Thankyou so much

[Pushkar Prabhat]

beautiful expression.............!!!!
"In an era of whist, when emotions remain
Coiled, or like a barren womb,
A paralyzed cloud of feeling could not
Shed love on unsound reason,
Yes, I am insipid in my intoxicated nature,
Who shed voluptuousness of its skin,
In utter disgust and in search of truth, "

lovely!!!
so effortless and effective!!!
i loved it.........!!!
:)

[hardeep sabharwal]

Thanks a lot pushkar

[Pushkar Prabhat]

you are welcome..........:) :)

[Surya pradha]

has a certain flow to it. a vivid poem with good vocab and use of words. well written!

[hardeep sabharwal]

Thankyou so much surya pradha