I

Why I am writing on myself,
Am I a great or noble man,
Gandhi, Nehru or Tagore
Though people write on themselves
At the age of sixty or above,
I am writing just at twenty five
Who is interested in knowing about me
It is of no worth, only
For rats to tear the pages
Junk, old and blotted
Discarding all the objections
I made myself from Object
To Subject, born in slum
I am very fashionable, in heart
I am very glamours, though I am a Sikh
Undermature I am, An insane
But not the typical one, different
And I dont like this distinction of mind
I have never brought my heart
into my mouth, object I was and
Object I am, though pretending
To be the subject
Once my sister asked me brother
Would you like to do me a favor
ofcource I said, I forgot
Object cant favor, I felt said
Even though object cant feel
A friend said, Be Sane
Be Sane? I balanced
my Id and also the Ego
And in the process, I unbalanced myself
A flurry came to me I made a flight
Desired to the top I sinned
I fall down into the mud
I become the object of pity or to laugh at
An object of lust but never the subject
Above personal at political
I am a minority, A vote bank
I want to go from this country
To that, Foolish I am
To be here is to be there
Who are called secular and liberal
Are in real sense most communal and dominant
They say who is not, are not you?
You are but you are powerless
And it is the power which changes
The objects into the subjects
I became unhappy to know this
I wrote an essay on my unhappiness
To be happy, I became a subject
But they came and changed a comma
With a dot, being proud of there grammatical
Knowledge they said, you are not a
Subject but are subjected to
I want to achieve the Power
To destroy old grammatical rules
To change myself from object
To Subject

Reviews

[AprilRN1210]

I like the contrasts of ideas in this one and the word play... very honest and introspective... great story-telling in this one as well... I noticed a few places that needed an apostrophe and phrasing that threw me off, otherwise well written... it makes you think and can feel the emotion sprinkled in there...

one thing did notice...
"ofcource I said,"... did you mean "of course?".....

"an object of lust but never the subject"... favorite line and one I could definitely relate to....
awesome job:)

[hardeep sabharwal]

Thanks AprilRN,
you know what, the line u said your favorite is also my favorite
thanks for everything :)

[AprilRN1210]

you're more than welcome:)

[R Smith]

a massive introspective poem, very well executed, masses of self analysis with points for and against, overall an epic piece of work that comes across quite brilliantly

[hardeep sabharwal]

Thanks Richard for support and like dear friend :)

[Erana]

I enjoyed your story, honest and open. To write about yourself, openly like that takes some courage.

[hardeep sabharwal]

Thanks a lot Erana :)

[Coyote Poetry]

" To change myself from object
To Subject"
Great men accomplish great things. Put the needs of others in front of great needs. Also very dangerous. Martin Luther King Jr. knew he would be killed and stood for the right things. Many way to become a subject. But you must take chances and offend the people in power.Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[hardeep sabharwal]

Thanks coyote for such a nice review :)

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome.

[RayXor]

im really not sure how i feel about this one. its not bad though

[hardeep sabharwal]

Thanks Rayxor :)

[Rene Salinas]

I like the idea here Hardeep a lot in fact as I love hyperboles , A whole lot! It is funny that something so imple like I, is so widely missunderstood at the same time the cause for great philosophical debates, psycological rebates and anthropological abbreviates. Not sure it it was becuase of your geaographical location or divinity predilection but you reminded me of Jiddu Krishnamurti. The constituition of subject object , observer , observed so on so forth as it does get very deep all a help for those who finally admit to wanting to know about the I.

I am never one to go through technicalities there are some in this cafe better suited than me and I did see several things that in my view would help the writing but if I suggest them then I am afraid that you might like them and then it won't be your writing anymore.

I'd will leave it to those who are more versed in technicalities then.

Thankyou.

[hardeep sabharwal]

Thankyou so much for giving such a nice review, also thanks for suggestions and deep elaboration :)

[hardeep sabharwal]

Thankyou so much for giving such a nice review, also thanks for suggestions and deep elaboration :)