Thoughts Are The Murder

why did i let you in so close?

why did i let you break me down so much?

why did i let you destroy the core of a boy that was once happy?

why do i still insist on bringing you back?

why do i still insist to myself that you're the one?

why do i still find myself thinking about you?

why do i still find myself losing sleep over you?

why do i still find myself wanting to love you, so bad that it kills me?

why does knowing that i cant make you happy ever again just make me so flustered?

why do i write, and write, and write again to ease this pain only temporarily just to be drawn back to this place again?

why does being struck down by your disaproval and to know that the cycle continues kill my soul ?

why do i have to wonder when the next time will be:

when i can hear your seductive voice;

when i can see your gorgeous smile;

when i can see your sexy body.

why do i wish for that to return?

why do i continue to cry?

these thoughts are the murder of forgotten dying heart

these thoughts are the murder of a love that was never allowed to start

Author's Note

this was originally loner and different but i separated it into two, added punctuation, and added some lines.

Reviews

[xlynne]

ok i'm just trying to help you out so don't feel insulted by me pointing any of these things out because you are a great writer i just want to help. i'm not a fan of repetition in this way. i've wrote a few repetition poems as well byt i don't know i think its the why's that keep me from LOVING this poem. but that doesn't mean you have to change it, thats just my own weird opinion. 17 lines down when you break the repition form i think that that's where you made a mistake. i think you should try to keep with the form throughout instead of going into a rant and trying to pick up the form afterwards. especially since eveything you write about in those few sentences can be started out with whys? i think that you might want to break this up into two poems. the beginning line all the way down to "why do we all insist the our actions are helping even when someone dies" should be another poem b/c after that you break away into another subject, romance and heartache. so if you made them into two poems then each poem would flow better. but the emotions are well felt from you to the reader so great job! i hope i wasn't too critical. make sure you see my notes for the spelling errors.

[Hedra Helix]

from:
why did i let you in so close
down its amazing, you can feel the heart.

[Brianna Brie]

Alright, I have to admit that I hate repetitive poetry, but regardless you broke it down in a way that hits my core. Emotional, honest...gut wrenching and I can relate. You won me "with a letter". Great write!