astonishly confused at the current state of life presented to me i walk on hopeing for better situation to come to my sight within reach of my desprate spirit. in order to obtain my true state i need to obtain an understanding of who and what i am. however, in order to do that, i feel, i need to complete myself with the other half of my puzzle. about who i am a small pathetic boy who even though he knows what he wants he is too timid to grab it by the throat and take it. the agressiveness within me become blocked by the wall of embarasmeant built by the peers in which i look doen upon but still let them have their way. i may be older than them but i have yet to grasp their level of knowlege on material things and the ever wanted thing of an understanding and expectation of life. i feel as though i will be foreever a little boy behind a shadow of little people who become bigger after tearing me down. but now to get the attention of others become possible but terrifying due to the phobia this small young lad has of rejection. until i come to terms with if i want it go get it i will have nothing. i have a lack of self confidents with digs my hole but my desire to get out gades with the passing of each day. in order to see the light i need to look up and go for it. take the cake and eat it too. if only i had a rope instead of just my hands to climb this mountain.