Mourning's Lulaby (Sonnet 1)

When in such a happy ending thou fade,
I'll wish thou a hymn played in sullen rhyme,
Of aria thou ow'st in the en tide's shade,
When none of that sunlight's last rays do shine,
Upon those wreath fadeth in the sable,
All alone I wail dateless in time's eyes,
For in such doom thou hear my silent call,
Mute shadows shall take mem'ry of drowned cries,
Not languished grass that sleep nor hanging leaf'
Thou shall see in an eternal rest,
And when Death's wintry touch was your life's thief,
Then thou mem'ry in this stone I shall etch,
      So till thy last breath shall stay before me,
      Then with you in a bitter dream I'd be.

Reviews

[Victoria PoetryBunny]

The title fits this sonnet really well. I like the feeling surrounded in each line and word tangled nicely to become a lovely sonnet. I like these following lines:
" I'll wish thou a hymn played in sullen rhyme,"

"Mute shadows shall take mem'ry of drowned cries,"

" So till thy last breath shall stay before me,
Then with you in a bitter dream I'd be."

[Pi Cee]

"And when Death's wintry touch was your life's thief,
Then thou mem'ry in this stone I shall etch"
Beautiful lines, the whole thing is quite amazing, I love the way you bring back shaksperean work Android tie into your own ideas. Truly wonderful.

[DearSweetAgony]

This poem is AWESOME, the second stanza was simply beautiful. I've always had a love for dark poetry so just by the name of this piece I knew that I was going to adore this write. I really admire your way of writing, its a shame that this form of writing isn't used as often as it should be. But bottom line is that this write was FANTASTIC in every possible way!

[dan nacario]

thanks..

[Bruce Grimes]

This Poem is rather dark and morn-full, almost as if someone is morning at the side of someones grave of a long lost love. It reminds me of when my grandmother died and my grandfather waited to join her. The last time I saw him I ask him how he liked it at the home where he was living and he said "Willy's not here" Willy being what he called my grandmother for there 50 years of mirage. Two mounts later he die and went to be with her. This is what your Poem makes me think of a dark and painful time but yet a special time as well. So I would say you did a good job.