You gave me life, you gave me pain

This is a very expressive and meaningful slam poem to me. I wrote this with a lot of pain and an aching heart.

The devil was disguised as a snake

So is it possible my mother is a fake?

 

You took a knife and stabbed it into my already bleeding heart

You kicked me down and pushed me like a cart.

D****t can’t you see

I just want you to leave me be

Screw you

There was only one thing I asked you to do

Love me

Instead you ran for a he

And then loved him

 

Never was I ever a priority to you

But I was to someone…can you guess who?

I’ll give you a hint

I call her grandma and according to you, is no better than a mint

 

She’s been to hell and back and you don’t seem to give a damn

Well now thanksgivings coming up, sure doesn’t look like she’s getting a ham

 

You can’t see it but others can

The only person you wish to please is that filthy no good man

To you I was never good enough

And your response to my objection was always “tough”

 

So here people I tell you it wasn’t a boy to break my heart

But my mother with which she used only a single dart

 

And I laugh now because she almost had me fooled

It’s now time that she is schooled

Because as much as she believes it, it wasn’t my fault

And by the way she lied about the assault

So I guess what i'm really trying to say 

is that she broke me down day by day

And the only thing i know for sure...is that i'm unsure

sometimes I wish there was just a simple cure

You always told me I was insane

Even mentioned that I was vain 

But yet if that was so, it proves to be true 

that you must pay a little due 

For you neglected my much needed 'help'

and instead continued to yelp

Listen to me, my mother stooped real low

and if you've been through this too don't dare let it go

Author's Note

I'm not good at poems or used to them but this topic seemed to fit better as a slam poem! Let me know what you think(:

Reviews

[Riley Justine]

Wow. This has a lot of emotion and meaning. All the suffering of a child who feels that their mother has put a man who isn't their father higher on their list of love. This is amazing. I cannot tell, even in the slightest bit, that you do not write poems often. Really well done. However, I would suggest that you give it a good title that will draw people's attention toward it. Try to come up with something that really makes people want to read it. There was nothing wrong with the actually piece of poetry though, I have nothing to edit or improve. Really well penned, and I would love to read some more of your writing!

[xhannyx]

aww thank you so much! You have no idea how much this means to me!! I will think of a catchy title! I really appreciate your input!

[Riley Justine]

No problem, it was really all my pleasure to read this poem.

[Nessie_AJ]

The first two lines are so powerful and symbolic that I cannot even begin to explain their effect on me! This is so beautiful and I admire the fact that your pain is fueling your art and you share that with people! I am so sorry for your pain but know that your art screams volumes! Simply beautiful piece of work!

[xhannyx]

OMG thank you so much! your comment has simply made me smile(:

[Matching Socks]

This has slam written all over it!
Really deep intense emotions that build as the poem progresses.
You should record it and post.

[xhannyx]

You think so? Thank you! I just might do that! :)

[Matching Socks]

There's sound great ones on youtube... Check them out.

[xhannyx]

Oh yeah! I will do that!

[Lizzie Mitchell]

also, i love the title

[Lizzie Mitchell]

So here people I tell you it wasn’t a boy to break my heart
But my mother with which she used only a single dart

i like that line a lot
i would work on the wording if you want it to sound more poetic
some of it sounds more stream of consciousness

the whole thing is very good
i think the audience would empathize even more with you if you had some kind of example of things your mother has done or thoughts you've had about her
do you have conflicting emotions? like you love her because she's your blood but hate her for not caring about you?
or do you feel nothing but rage toward her in that empty hole in your heart made for a mother's love?
this is great but i want more detailssssss
rip your heart out and bleed the words for me
i want to feel your pain
:)

if you like my comments message me and so maybe we could work together
i like your writing and maybe you can give me some constructive feedback too

[xhannyx]

Wow thank you so much for commenting!! This has really helped me and opened my eyes! This is just a rough piece. This was written out of anger and pain and just a lot of sorrow and I haven't taken a whole lot of time build off of it. I totally see where your coming from and it's really helped me. I thought about giving some examples but wasnt sure how to incorporate them. Like i mentioned in my one post i am VERY new to poems. So I really appreciate your feedback and would love it if you helped me(:

[Lizzie Mitchell]

Yay! I'm glad I could help. The idea and emotion here are so good!