Today

I saw my therapist for the second time today, it's helping.

Today

 

today I saw a therapist

he was kind to me

he asked how was my week

 

I smiled and said fine

but he saw through my lies

quietly he whispered

tell me the truth

 

sitting there

avoiding his stare

I said it was rough

 

things get worse before they get better

I know its tough

but depression is a battle

you must confront

 

I let it out

he understood

without a doubt

 

he said try not to cut

write a poem

or go for a run

don't get stuck in a rut

 

i'm trying my hardest to get better

to please everyone else

to get out of this living hell

 

 

Reviews

[FlatLineBeauty]

I can say I have been here too hun. I didn't realize it until later in life that my problem was I was so busy trying to be others I didn't know who I was. I wanted people to accept me so much I just wanted to please everyone. After awhile something inside me snapped and I didn't care anymore. I figured out that I really don't have anything to prove and I shouldn't have to. If ppl didn't like me for me well, good bye to them bc i didn't need them in the first place. I don't know all your reasons, but I do know you have been though a lot by your writing. If you ever need to vent don't hesitate to hit me up. Try letting lose a bit and stop caring about pleasing others. I know that is hard, but in the end... it should be your happiness that matters. xo Winter

[hmarieee]

Thanks so much winter, its nice to know i'm not alone. I have been deeply depressed for the last 12 years but never said anything to anyone, I've always been the helper. I finally broke and decided I needed help and honestly, this whole week I have felt weak and vulnerable. its horrible but I know its what needed to be done. thank you.

[chicandsleek77]

Don't worry about pleasing yourself. Worry about you getting better or you'll never be better.

[Laura Harrison]

I used to be in the same position as you (although I never went to therapy) and I found that writing about everything was my escape. Everything always feels better when you put pen to paper :)

[hmarieee]

i agree. thank you.

[Coyote Poetry]

"he said try not to cut
write a poem
or go for a run
don't get stuck in a rut"
The above words are good advice. I was going crazy in the Army in 1979. Doctors gave me drugs. I tossed out the drugs and ran. I made the Army running team and didn't have no more problems. I may still be crazy. It is a good crazy. Thank you for sharing the poem. I'm not a fan of Doctors.
Coyote

[hmarieee]

Yeah I agree but they want to put me on anti-depressants for a while to see if I do any better. I'm just not going to argue and yes, a good kind of crazy you are indeed. :)

[The Seasonal Girl]

I am not sure if this is by coincidence I am reading this. But surely I could relate to each word, every letter. I have been going through this a lot lately, have been bottling up lot of things inside, so much so that words, that used to be my escape and diversion stopped coming in.

I would completely agree with WinterRose. Living your life, on your own terms is quite difficult. And when you start to do it, you feel you need a shoulder to rest on, and everything shall fall back in place, better late than never. But its all the more hard to keep the chin up, fight the battle alone, with no one around. I am glad you poured out your feelings in words. We will always love to hear from you, and your words :) Hugs :)

And yeah, never go for the cuts.. It aint the solution. (Words from an experienced, if that counts)

[hmarieee]

Thank you for your review. It's really hard to talk to someone I don't know very well. It was only my second therapy session (where I chose to go). It's a hard thing to bring yourself to do but I sure am glad I did. If you're curious as to why I wrote this poem, just read through a few of my others. My living hell and Urges will explain this.
If you ever need someone to talk to, I am always here and i'm a good listener. Stay Strong xoxo

[annabellee]

great write. Really hope writing helps you and the best of luck to you :)

[hmarieee]

Thank you anna and yes, writing is my escape. it always helps me feel a little better. I hope you have an amazing day.

[annabellee]

you are most welcome and thank you, I hope you do too :)

[David Burke]

You're going to make it kido, I believe in you just keep pushing :)

[hmarieee]

thanks sweetie. I know I will, it's just a process.

[David Burke]

anytime darlin

[genocide]

i can relate that's how i feel to

[hmarieee]

oh. i'm here if you ever need to talk hun, just message me anytime.