Dear You... From Me

Dear you, 

It would be a lie if I said I didn't miss you, that I didn't think about you constantly. It's like you used to be the air I breathe, and now that's suddenly gone. Like suffocation of the heart. Slow, excruciating suffocation.

 

It was always second nature to me, to go to you, to feel like I could, to want to, and to want you to want me to. I knew that whenever I needed you, you would be waiting, with open ears, arms, and heart. What do I do now? Well, that's the question that is yet to be answered. 

These past few months have been hard, and it's even worse to know that you're so close, physically speaking, but yet so far away. Our hearts that once beat as one, now seem to not even recognize each other. I see you, and I yearn for you, but die a little inside because I know the favor is not returned. 

It's like you look right through me. Through that stupid look I have on my face that you always made fun of, and once loved. Can you not remember any of these things? Or is it your choice to simply ignore them, even if it's gnawing at the back of your mind like some love-crazed insect. But I wonder if maybe you didn't ignore these things, if suddenly they appeared to you and reflected a smile upon your face, could things go back? Back to those times that seemed so carefree and meaningless then, but now I guard them with my heart, hoping that I never forget them. Maybe if I always remember, it's as if they mean something still.

I often think back to those trivial conversations, spontaneous flings, and childlike love. 

There was nothing we didn't do together. Nothing we wanted to be apart for. It could be as simple as a picnic in your back yard. We would pretend the ants were armies marching for our food. Using leaves as protection from them. We laughed as I called you my hero. That was the first time you said you loved me. 

It's inevitable that when I think of the amazing times we had, my mind races to when it all started falling apart. 

It was a growing tension that we chose to ignore. We fought just to keep a conversation going. Both of us too stubborn to admit we were wrong. But eventually we made up and were back to normal. At least until the next fight. Until they started happening more.

And more.

And more.

After a while I became used to it. Going through the motions. A new day means a new fight, and a new make up. It became too normal for me. So normal that I just expected for everything to be fine after a fight.

But I want to go back to that night that changed everything, the night that was different. That night when it all ended. 

What would have happened if I just admitted I was wrong? Because I know now, that it was me. I remember every details. From the anger in your eyes so intense that I knew this was no ordinary fight. And the tears that streaked down my face as I told you to leave and never come back. I never knew you would take me so seriously.

So now I'm stuck here, with this hole in my heart. A hole in the shape of you. I need you to come back in my life, because the only security I know is in your arms. And I'm writing you this letter in hopes that you don't just discard it at the sight of my name, and actually read, understand, remember what I'm saying. Because it can all be described in three words: I love you. And maybe, what I was hoping, is that while you are reading this, there's this idea that you locked away deep inside you, and it's brought to the surface. Maybe, just maybe, you still love me.

From, Me.

Author's Note

This is fictional. I had a dream one night similar to this, and so I was inspired.
Please tell me what you think and give me criticism, lotsa criticism! (:

Reviews

[etxcp]

Wow! Your really good!

[Coyote Poetry]

I like the story. Good description and strong characters made the tale seem real. Love can falling to circle of romance. Sometime two people can fall on the same road once again. Thank you for a excellent poem.
Coyote

[M.E.Lyle]

This reminds me of a very similar incident I had growing up. I said some really mean and hurtful things to the girl I was in love with. None of what I said was true, I was angry and blurted out anything I could think of. It effectively ended our relationship. Later I appologized, but things were never the same. Eventually we parted ways and never saw each other again. I've always wondered...What if.
Criticisms....hmmm, not too many. There are a few gramatical things that might need fixing like, "I remember every details." It probably should read, "I remember every detail." Other than that I can't think of much. You might check it over and find more. Grammer is a weakness of mine, so what do I know.

[Salma Mohamed]

It's actually pretty good, and it's nice finding someone who's the same age.
Well, you are older by one year :D

[Forest Green]

Nice beginning...nice title...very forthcoming prose. Keep moving with it...;)