Running, Divine

Your thunderous beauty calls out for every part of me. It resonates with my soul and I try to cut the ties I have unwittingly made.. I scurry around trying to redeem parts of myself I have offered cheaply to the world.

But I'm afraid to throw myself into the midst of You. Afraid that I'll become fragments.. And I forget that that's what I ask for.. To be broken.
Perhaps, it's that the closer I draw to you, the stronger your light shines on the parts of my soul that I'm too ashamed to bare to the world... and then I laugh.. because it's YOU I want to bare myself to anyway... My maker, My friend, My rock.

There's an intensity that takes me by surprise as the pursued becomes the pursuer, and as I have to pay more to play this game. A game of hide-and-seek.. where at times i simply cannot find you... and at times where i struggle not to be found.

The scorching, stinging sand leaves me in tears as pure unadultered sunlight blocks out everything that i can hear, the blisters on my feet, even the road ahead is shaky. I am blinded and deaf, tired, burdened and weary.. But as I look for shelter, as i look for solace, I find you...

Just as I'm about to collapse you sweep me up, take me away, lead me to waters that are cooling, waters that heal... as we splash and delight by the banks of the river, the water swirls around but it doesn't fill my ears, nose or mouth, nor does it take my feet from under me. Instead, it reaches and soothes my soul of it's wounds, of it's scars, bringing restoration in the form of Joy and Peace.

When we walk through that field.. The colours seem more rich, the smell of everything magnified. The wind that blows through us brings with it freedom and abandonment.. Hesitantly.. then with enchantment I leave the heavy backpack I've been hoarding for so long and then.. I start to run.

We run together, tumble, laughing, crying, cries of bitter-sweet contentment.
We run the King and the Child, The beloved and The Lover, The debtor and The source of all things Good. I run without strings attached to my heart. I run without hinderances. The more I give up... The more I can see and hear and experience. The taste of real life never leaves my lips as songs roll off my tongue and praise flows out of my mouth.

No one and nothing can touch these moment. The moment that has taken everything I have strived for in my life. Yet, that moment has taken nothing.. because it is engraved on my heart that even my heart should not be mine. It is in my nature to crave you.. Instinctively my soul cries out and longs for fellowship with you.. In letting go of myself, forgetting my barriers, laughing off limitations, abandoning and dropping everything that's in my hands to respond to your call of love.. is everything that I could want or need. To really live, I need to lose myself..