Invariance of the Waves

Frayse gazed out over an inexhaustible sea.

Her dark blue eyes scanning the horizon.

To what end?

In hopes of spying a wave more engrossing than the last?

No new activity had transpired on that skyline for two years.

Thus her constant searching was enigmatic to me,

But not unbidden, for it gave me more time to be near her,

watch the freckles appear on her dainty nose and watch her delicate hands

brush loose strands of penny bleached blond from her eyes.

Those navy eyes that watched. 

Author's Note

please give any feedback! I will not be offended...

Reviews

[closed]

The poem was so pretty! I could imagine the whole scene taking place, thanks for sharing!

[Coyote Poetry]

The poem is beautiful. The ocean can be lonely waiting for reason and purpose. The lines are strong and your words create a vision of beauty on a beach waiting for a good day to come. A excellent poem.
Coyote

[Antonio Valentino]

What a lovely poem. I hope your wave comes in soon :)

Thank you for sharing this with us.
Antonio

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

To look beyond your comfort zone for new adventures, that is what I get from reading this... I found it quite original, you put a lot of inspiration into few words.

[Marie Harrison]

When I read this poem it was beautiful to me. I got the impression she was looking for a man better than the first one she had. Her male friend, stood by her side admiring her as she scouts for a new man. It was an incredible poem to me. I loved the imagery too.

[Michael X]

You are a great writer but I agree with samual.. although the imagery
and feeling is beautifully expressed, you clearly have talent..
my lil nit-pik is overwording
Frayse gazed out over an inexhaustible sea...instead of saying "out over"
look for words to simplify the essense.. such as "across"
anyhow i loved the ending, and the classical originality

[E. L. Foley]

This is a great little story built into a poem. I love the tone--very much like thoughts. I think that the punctuation could use a bit of tightening up, perhaps, but on the whole I think that its excellent. And I would say that the title fits--"invariance" says something about the relationship of the speaker and Frayse as well as the speaker's views on the ocean.

[zdzd]

I like it. I like how you use big words to portray your meaning. The big words make the poem feel more deep and moving. At first I was having difficulties realizing the theme (message) of the poem. But I guess your message was loneliness, or you could have just been trying to write a descriptive poem. Ether way it was quite good!

[[KL]]

Ermm.. I have no idea what the first word means.. And I'm in a rather lazy mood, so I just do not want to look it up right now lol.. But the rest does sound very good indeed.. I find it hard to write using blank verse.. You don't seem to share that problem though, which I guess is a really good thing to do.. Tis a good piece, thanks for sharing (:

[Samuel Ferris]

study everything about craft, linguistic function, rhetoric, meter, phonology(sound of words), syntax(arrangement or order of words),
semantics(meaning of words).