No Feeling

This is a dream I had. I wrote it down exactly as it happened. I'm not sure why I had this dream, but it made me scared and nervous everytime I climbed onto a bus in the rain.

I opened my eyes. The sound of the rain echoed in my ears. Finding a comfortable position on the rough leather seats of the bus was practically impossible. We were in a hurry. I’m not sure what we were running away from, but we had to pick up my sister and drive quickly. I stared at my brother as he drove the great bus. His expressionless face shone with strange shadows in the moonlight. I stared out the rain-streaked window into the gloomy evening. The darkness seemed to surround the bus like a blanket. We crashed into a grassy area and drove crazily down a steep hill.

 

“Sam, slow down!” I cried. “You’re not supposed to drive on this hill.”

 

“It’s the fastest way to the street,” Sam spoke annoyed. He barely stopped to let my sister climb onto the bus, then sped up.

 

“We’ll never make the turn,” I told him. “The road we have to turn on is always full of traffic.”

 

“Don’t worry about it,” he snapped at me. I shut my mouth. My brother was a good driver after all. We came up to the road in question, and Sam turned swiftly onto it, the tires of the rickety bus screeching loudly. There were barely any cars on the road. I felt like an idiot. Of course, it was so late. No one would be driving now, especially in this weather. I relaxed.

 

CRASH! I slammed into the seat in front of me as the bus his a road fence on its turn. Slowly, the bus tipped. Then, turned completely upside down. I crashed painfully into the ceiling. ‘I’m going to… die,’ I thought swallowing hard.

 

‘This is the last thing I’ll see. There’s so much left I’m supposed to do.’ A small tear slipped into my eye before all was darkness.

 

I felt extremely claustrophobic, as if I was stuck in a small box, only big enough to barely fit me. I tried to move my arms to slam against the box, but they wouldn’t move. In fact, I realized that I couldn’t even feel my arms. I couldn’t feel anything except the strange claustrophobia, which pushed against my mind, making my thoughts seem fuzzy. I tried to open my eyes, but found that I couldn’t even feel them either. I felt as though I was nothingness.

 

“I’m dead,” I tried to say, but my mouth was not there to speak with. “Will I be like this for all eternity? Why does it feel so cramped? Where is this place?” I kept trying to move. I tried and tried. ‘Think,’ I thought. ‘That’s all I can do for the rest of eternity, think.’ I tried to cry, but the dampness of tears never came. ‘A song, I’ll think of a song, but I won’t remember the whole thing. I won’t remember it. I won’t be able to listen to it.’ I tried to scream. I wanted to scream so badly that my thoughts seemed to ache. I wanted to scream.

 

‘God,’ I thought. ‘Why?’ I knew that there was some sort of existence or energy near me. I could feel it. After several hours it seemed of anguish, I could feel the energy’s pity.

 

‘I will let you see your world one more time,’ someone spoke to me, but it was as if I was thinking the words. Then, I felt a great releasing sensation, and I was floating in the middle of a room crowded with people dressed fancily. It seemed to be a party in a rich home. I couldn’t be sure because I had never been rich. I could hear many peoples conversations. They spoke so normally.

 

“Would you like something to drink?”

“Why yes thank you.”

“Hey have you seen the new…” “What’s this?” “May I introduce…” I could not touch anything, and I am not sure how I could see. It seemed strange.

 

“Hello?” I tried to speak, but found myself unable to. I floated around for several minutes. I saw a man approach a lady in a beautiful gown. He talked politely with her.

 

“He’s evil,” I tried to scream. “He… he wants to hurt you!” I couldn’t talk. I couldn’t do anything. I was helpless. Then, there was a great sensation as if my mind and form became wind. I was sucked back into the place of nothingness… so claustrophobic… so small. I wanted to get out. The great energy moved away from me. I tried to move my arms to bang against whatever it was that contained me, but I still had no arms. I tried again and again, and I tried to scream. This continued for days.

 

My eyes shot open. I found stared around my room. Sunlight was just beginning to pour in through the window.

 

“I’m afraid of death,” I said as actual tears came into my eyes. I shivered uncontrollably. “Was that small space… a coffin?”

Reviews

[Prudence Desideria]

Eerie... It's a pretty classic scenario, but one of those that never get any older or less creepy. Done the right way, with the right words and images, it becomes a living nightmare for the audience. You start feeling the panic, the anguish, start thinking 'omg, what'd I do in that situation?', and then all sorts of way too philosophical thoughts come up...

All in all a good piece, and for a dream holy crap. Love the revelation in the end, waking up and knowing not necessarily every detail of what happened but definitely being aware of the points it enlightened, i.e. being scared of death...

xo xo

[LSS]

I just read your award winning Christmas lights poem. You are a good writer and I especially like this story. the raw emotion evidenced in your narrative made me relive your agony too. Too much like a horror film to ignore.
LSS