Violent Kindness

I see you,

Laughing,

Smiling,

So happy.

You look over,

Smile and wave,

Calling out my name,

Wanting me to go over.

I refuse.

Why would I want that?

To see you,

So happy,

While I'm burning on the inside.

Burning so deeply,

Hurting me so much.

It scorches me,

And you do your best,

To be so kind to me,

To make me happy.

But all you do,

Is make it worse.

It's like you're rubbing it in your face,

Showing me what I can't have.

You see these tears?

They're from your kindness.

Such violent kindness,

That you can't see.