Jimmy and the Crack factory

very funny hopefully no one takes offence to it

 

ZNot long ago in Queens, New York sat a young thug named Jimmy. Jimmy and his family had little money to live off of. In order to make money to buy food for him and his seven sisters and their babies, they had to make crack. They lived in a two bedroom house and things were very packed. 

One day while making his crack, Jimmy over heard several of his fellow crack makers talking about this copper ticket in a pack of Marlboro lights, that if found could be redeemed to a visit to the legendary crack factory down the road, that no one has entered or exited for years or years. So, after a long day of crack making Jimmy decided to take 5 dollars to Super America and buy himself a pack of Marlboro lights. He sat on the corner and smoked every single, last cigarette until he seen the bottom of the pack. There, in the bottom of the pack was a copper ticket. He couldn’t believe his blood shot eyes. So he got up and ran all the way to his shack.

When he got home, his sister LaQuisha was the first one he saw. He immediately told her the news with great enthusiasm.

“LaQuisha, LaQuisha you will never guess what happened to me today!”

“You finally sold that bag of crack I’ve needed you to sell so I can buy Boo Boo some formula?”

“No, it is way much better than that, I won the copper ticket to go to the Crack Factory up on the hill!”

“Boy you are trippin there is no such thing and you know that.”

But Jimmy refused to let his sister get his spirits down, he went and told his mama Saniqua, his grand pappy Jamal, and his other 9 sisters whose sometimes, he forgets their names. When he looked at the ticket again he saw he could bring one more person. So, he sat and thought about who he should take and after many hours of deliberation he decided on his grand pappy Jamal.

So, the next day when he and his grand pappy were working side by side he asks him.

                “Grand pappy remember when I told you I won that ticket to the great Crack Factory? Well it says I can bring anotha homie wit me and grand pappy I thought since you always been there bailing me out of jail and stuff you could come wit me ya know.

Grand pappy Jamal stood there for awhile in silence making his crack and when he finally did speak it took Jimmy by surprise.

“Young Jimmy, that Crack Factory has sat up there on dat hill for-eva and not a single soul has left or entered it. Rumors have been spread that the pimp that lives in it has gone crazy but I believe that he aint and so if you want me to come wit you to the Crack Factory I will.”

 

The next few days seemed as if they drug on forever. Finally when the day came Jimmy and his grand pappy climbed up in their old caddie and drove down the road until they reached the bottom of a big hill. They parked the car and started walking up the hill until they reached a big door three times as big as Jimmy. When Jimmy looked around he saw all kinds of people. He saw prostitutes; pot heads, arsonist; even ex- cons. Eventually, what seemed like an eternity the great pimp came walking out of the door. He was dressed in fur from head to foot and he held a golden cane and a big golden ring was on his right hand. In a deep breath the great pimp started speaking.

“As you see each and every one of you is different, we have a prostitute here, a pot head, and arsonist, and a young crack maker. If you are wondering why I brought you here its cause’ the po-po is on my tail and if I get caught my factory will be shut down, so, in that breath I’m needing a new head crack maker if something of that sort goes down. Each one of you here is going to prove yourself to me and show me if you can make the best crack.”

Jimmy looked at his grand pappy and they looked around seeing the differences between all the people and in an instant they knew it was going to be a dog eat dog game.

The great pimp motioned them all in “first we gonna take a tour of the factory.” The great pimp then got on an elevator and the tourist followed.

“First we gonna take a tour of da marijuana room.” The great pimp stated. When the elevator stopped and the doors opened they saw the room that was filled with nothing but marijuana. The pot head ran off the elevator not knowing that there was a gutter for the water to run out when they watered the plants. He instantly got swept away and no one knew where he went. Jimmy being the curious soul, ask,

“Where did he go?”

The great pimp laughed and said “Boy if you don’t listen to me you will end up dead in a gutter somewhere like he is.”

Jimmy just looked at his grand pappy because, he knew what the great pimp was talking about.

Next, they took a boat to another room that was filled with matches, paper, wood and other objects that a person could burn. The arsonist felt like he was in heaven he ran and lit a match and in a blink of an eye the man burst into flames. Jimmy once again being curious asks the great pimp,

“How come dat man burst into flames?”

Once again the great pimp replied with a cleaver response.

“Once a man gets over whelmed with something that is dangerous it’s hard to hold back the urge to repeat it. The room was filled with gas and if he would have waited we all was gonna out on these suits that are fire resistant but he was so overwhelmed he didn’t pay no mind.”

That also made sense to Jimmy. So once again they walked, this time to a room that was filled with money and men. This was really odd to jimmy but he didn’t say anything because, he knew there would be a lesson behind this room. When the prostitute saw all the money and men she went crazy. She ran and grabbed arm full’s of money and went and kissed every man. But then, she slowed down and soon she feel over. She was dead. Jimmy didn’t even have to ask what happened the great pimp read his mind.

“Jimmy this is a case of where a women is a gold digger and she would do anything for money. Young Jimmy this lady died from AIDS because, she wasn’t thinking.” Jimmy nodded and they walked on.

The next room looked all too familiar. It was a little shack and there was weights and white powder and white rocks sitting all around. Jimmy knew this was a crack room. Jimmy did not like crack so he was not tempted to go do something stupid.

They finished walking throughout the factory and when jimmy, his grand pappy and the great pimp reached the end they heard sirens and in a rush the great pimp said

“The po-po is on me, here is the key to the factory make lots of money young jimmy and make me proud.”

Those were the last words he heard the great pimp say because; he was in the jail house for life. But Jimmy and his family lived happily ever after in the great big factory making lots of crack and money.

 

THE END