The Struggle of Cognitive Dissonance

Defined as the state of having inconsistent thoughts, beliefs, or attitudes. Basically, what happens when a girl begins to fall in (love) and considers what to do about it.

The question lingered on her mind, patient

like a house guest waiting upon the arrival of an owner. 

It stayed. "Would you rather continue living the life you live -

free from disappointment, relying on nothing

but the dreams that move incessantly in your head? 

Or would you face reality, face Fear - look him hard in 

the eye and tell him you are prepared to fight? 

To be stagnant or to break the glass dividing the illusion 

of safety? The poor girl could not make a decision 

for she had been afraid ever since she quietly stepped out of

her mother's belly. But there was the fire. A small, pathetic 

excuse for a flame but nevertheless it engulfed her body

and demanded to be set free. The conflict resided in her mind, 

her heart, the very being of her existence. She had hated making 

decisions from youth - why do anything if the one we call Fate truly exists? 

If she is upstairs, resting her elbow on her knee, sighing in boredom 

as she pulls each of our strings. Or if this is untrue, if she is not real, 

if man has conjured her up out of his fear of oblivion, of meaninglessness,

then man is faced with unbearable pressure, weighing him down like a boulder.

The quiet girl thought such things over as she looked over at the Boy. 

For weeks, the Boy had been on her mind, as if he casually packed up 

his belongings into a suitcase and decided to move into the apartment in her head.

Gradually, his face faded into every person she saw - the bus driver had his striking green eyes 

her neighbour had stitched on his intricate symbolic tattoo, snaking down his left arm

and a stranger passing by wore his smile. Ah, his smile. 

Never before has she experienced such ecstasy 

from merely looking upon the stretch of one's muscles. 

But in her haste of falling in infatuation, she had forgotten an important detail:

she was a dreamer.

Which meant that the Boy- a stranger in reality- was the one who stood out her window playing love songs.

The one who shared her same taste in music, who wrote poetry in far away coffee shops

and would rather stay in bed watching underrated films than go out with his friends. 

In her head, that Boy smiled and the world shattered and sank to its knees at his allure. 

To break the glass and destroy the illusion would mean to essentially murder 

the dreamy Boy living in her head. It meant to face not only Fear, 

but Truth- the b*****d responsible for the destruction of her previous relationship.

At this point, it would seem that the former argument is favourable: to stay the same.

But another characteristic of the girl played a part in this dilemma. 

Curiosity - for he prowled and provoked her, whispering his temptations into her soul. 

What if? What if the Boy was not a person of reality, but a dreamer like herself? 

What if he was strikingly different from her, 

but this illuminated his beauty more than the Boy (already at the trial of his death sentence) in her head? 

What if his soul has been searching for hers for centuries, only to be muffled by doubt? What if? 

After contemplation, the curious girl still did not know what to do. 

Author's Note

First post on this website, please be gentle (I have feelings!). Comments would be great and feedback very much appreciated. Not sure if this can be considered poetry, but meh.