"for sale: baby shoes, never worn"

A Story by Hanna

a short story I wrote for my English class :))

I have been staring at the screen of my computer for the past hour, unable to brace myself to push the final button. The green square with “confirm” written across it, is staring at me, asking to finalize the sale offer.

I was sitting on the couch in our new apartment, my parents surprised us with this fantastic place right after we got married. It was the first thing of our own, the place only ours. What we didn't know at that moment was that in a matter of seconds, we would learn that it won’t be just the two of us here anymore. As I turned over the pregnancy test in my trembling fingers I let out a shaky gasp. My husband rushed through the living room door, he already knew, and I knew too; we were going to become parents. Our legs became weak, we crashed to the floor in a tight embrace filled with joy, a feeling so warm and sweet I’ve never felt before. Tears of joy spilling like waterfalls down my face.

The magical surreal feeling came back once again, after months had passed, as I looked into the eyes of our daughter.

A baby brought into existence just a second before, the most beautiful view I have ever laid my eyes on. I held her for what seemed like an eternity, and I wished it would be an eternity, at this moment I wanted to stay in it forever. Her heart connected to mine, the heartbeat of the one and only girl, my girl.

As I put her down, I had no idea it would be not only the first but the last time I did.

A doctor came to me a while later as I was talking to my mom on the phone, sharing the happy news; the words that came out of his mouth killed every part of me at that moment, the words forever bound to stay in my heart, to ring in my ears.

“I’m sorry.”

Hot tears were streaming down my cheeks uncontrollably, the same way they had been nine months earlier on my living room floor.

We sold or gave out everything that we prepared for our girl immediately. Baby furniture, toys, cradle, clothes. Neither one of us was able to endure the painful reminders of her surrounding us.

That’s why after years had passed and we were moving, it stung as if a million thorns were being stuck into my skin when I found a box, lost somewhere, with a pink pair of baby shoes inside.

The feeling of my skin and heart ripping open, the same pain I felt after hearing “SIDS. Sudden Infant Death Syndrome.” that night in the hospital.

Therefore I’m sitting here, letting go of the only thing tying me to her, my heart breaking once again as I hit the “post” button. The offer is up. I look at the words, blurred now, with the tears filling my eyes;

“for sale: baby shoes, never worn”