Gone in a Panic

At half past midnight I pull up to a small house at the end of a quiet neighborhood street. I hear the bass of the loud music all the way in my car. A couple of boys sit in lawn chairs on the porch, empty beer bottle sprawled around them, with half naked girls wearing too much makeup across their laps. The boys wink at me as I walk by, and the girls give me a snarl, making me feel uneasy. I know I shouldn't be here, but my friends insisted. This is what normal teenage girls do; they party, drink and dance on cute boys.

My palms begin to sweat when I walk through the door and see an ocean of bodys swaying back and forth. A group of my friends yell at me from the back and as I push my way through horny guys and drunk girls, I have to resist the urge to run as fast as I can out the door. I'm handed a toxic smelling drink in a red plastic cup, smiling I take a few sips and pretend to like it. All of my tipsy friends sing and dance, slowly making their way to the middle of the crowd, taking me with them. My heart beats faster and faster everytime I make eye contact with boy who looks at me as if I dont have on a stitch. "Hey babe, have another drink," one of thems says, grabbing me by the waste. I turn away as panic begins to set in, but everywhere I turn there's antoher animal ready to pounce.

I take a deep breath but nothing goes in. Body's pulse against mine, hands grab all parts of me, and the world gets darker. I breathe bigger, heavier, but there's a brick in my lungs. I'm sweating, shaking, and gasping. My feet start running and my hands open the back door. My vision's blurred, my body's trembling, my face's sweating, my heart's racing, and my lungs are heaving. I pull myself into a ball with my back pressed against the wooden fence. All I can see is darkness, terror, embarassment, and panic.

But then the sun shines through the storm clouds when he wraps his arms around and consumes me. His sweet voice wraps around my ears, hugging them as if to say everything will be okay. My head fits perfectly on the curves of his shoulders, like puzzle pieces. His hand moves up, his hand moves down on the small of my back. I can feel every breath that he takes on the back of my neck, and I can feel every beat given by his heart underneath my palm. I can feel the oxygen run back through my blood. The bricks crumble to the ground and the world is illuminated.

He kisses my cheek and whispers, "It'll be okay," in my ear. But when I turn to thank him, he's already gone. I know better than to ever expect a beautiful boy to be by my side. The only person who could handle my crazy panic attacks was gone the moment that drunk driver slammed into the side of his car.

"Hey are you okay?" A tall boy with dark brown hair neals down in front of me. His eyes are made up of a thousand oceans, and Im drowning in them. "I saw you run out... man those guys are jerks." He gives me his hand and pulls me up. "What's your name?"

"Lea," my cheeks blush when I realize there's mascara and eyesadow running down my face, but he doesnt seem to mind.

"Well it's nice to meet you Lea, Im Toby." I let out a small gasp.

"I knew a Toby once," my eyes can't meet his.

"Must have been a pretty great guy with a name like that," he grins.

"Yea.... yea he was pretty great," I smile and look up at the stars

"Would you let me drive you home? You've had a little bit to drink, and I would hate for you to drive like this." I smile and nod, and he takes my hand, leading me through the crowd. It could have been my imagination, but I could've sworn I saw my Toby standing in the corner of the room, smilling and nodding at me, wearing that same grey tshirt as the night he crashed.

Reviews

[R. W. Graham]

I really liked this. You did a superb job of showing and not telling, and I could relate a lot with the emotions of Lea when she was first entering the party. I felt like the ending was a tad rushed, however, and I really would have liked to read more of this. I could see this story going in a lot of different directions.