Imprints
A Poem by Behrsy
I’m lost It’s 8oclock The sand beneath my feet slowly rising to my brain Speeding up my pace I can’t help but feel responsible Because I let you believe That you were half broken When you were some kind of magic The car breaks down And the window’s still shattered I lose your touch as we drown Sending peals of laughter Through the atmosphere Did they find you? Or are you still in hiding Breathing in the embers Feeling your way through Before anyone else could get to you And leave an impression Like the hand prints on the sidewalk Grasping for some form of immortality You’re our chalkboard Don’t let me down
© 2013 Behrsy
Reviews
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I really enjoyed this poem. I love it when poetry feels like a secret between two people that I can read, but now quiet understand because I haven't experienced what you have.
My one recommendation is something I say to a lot of writers: don't be afraid to use punctuation. Punctuation is really underestimated in poetry, but with some of your shorter lines, a period would really blunt the words, and with questions, a question mark would fit perfectly. Punctuation can be really experimental and useful in poetry because form is a big part of poetry.
Enough of that rant, though, because you have an emotional, lyrical poem here that speaks to me deeply. I look forward to reading more of your work!
Posted 11 Years Ago
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1 Review
Added on May 23, 2013
Last Updated on May 23, 2013
Tags: poetry, poem, imprints
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