My Bubble

As I sit home...

Shhh...do you hear that?

 

these four walls

 

I can hear them rupture, coming apart

 

i feel them

mocking with their proximity

taunt with their height

constrict with their width

 

closer

 

they encompass me

constringe me

 

i gasp.. but am not able to...

 

plaster!

it invades my lungs 

 

oh, why do I allow these walls to consume me

 

as I descend into their pigmented dementia, I scream their names

 

STARING, AT, STOP, ME

Author's Note

This is just me at home, at times. **I added the last two lines just today, however i'm not sure of two things... 1) pigmented dementia (though I feel it fits perfectly, i'm not sure the words go well together) 2) should I have been candid with the last line? using the word dememtia I think it fits to mix em up. Let me know what you think.

Reviews

[The Spaniard]

The mix up works perfect! I remember the text you sent me while i read this now and it reads so constricting...which of couse is perfect considering you being constricted in your tiny work enviornment like many of us are. Writing is the only way to keep the sanity or reveal the insanity of ourselves to others without doing something rash. I love it.

[StrangeVoices]

I think the words fit together nicely and it could be taken metaphorically and literally.
Nice job

[jaime]

reminds me so much of the short story The Yellow Wallpaper...which is one of my all time favorites.

[The Mad Prophet]

You really don't have to change this one, the words fit well with each other. This is very good actually, but you seem to be mechanical thinker. Poetry is about what your feel, the words only help flavor that. Very well done, nicely written.

[☮]

Pigmented Dimentia? I like that. This poem is deeply, deeply metaphoric. This can be viewed in many ways. I'm sure you have your own meaning. Nice work. I had to read it a few times. My favorite so far.

[GetTheHellOut]

A great piece. Very well written and nice style. It expresses so much. Thanks for sharing.

[Ebs]

wow. never read a style like this before but i loved it. What i love is how just a few words can express so much in this piece.

great write

ebs

[VERONICA]

fantastic idea and well done so far, but I feel it has so much more potential and depth that you can bring to it. I really like the style of the poem but it would be more interesting if it were longer and had more information
Why are the walls closing in on you?
What do the walls look like?
What are you saying with this piece?

Think more about it, but you have a great start!

[Lestat's daughter]

I like it. It's how I feel at school sometimes.