CH1

CH1

 

                Sighing I made my way through the crowded corridor. Dodging the bags, the bouncing ponytails and the small kids. Finally I reached an empty corner. Free from the barely bearable smell of mixed perfumes, I took a deep breath. I hated this place. The bell rang for a second time. Lazily, I climbed the last flight of stairs and made my way to the classroom. After a moment of hesitation, I sighed again and opened the yellowish door, mumbling an excuse for being late. The teacher made some comment with an exasperated tone to which I paid no attention. I sat on the empty seat at the back, next to the window, I could see the teacher’s lips still moving but my mind was already elsewhere. A guy I had never seen before entered the room. New kid? Snatching myself away from the deep meanders of my thoughts, I tried to listen. Xander… was that his name? I stared in disbelief as he casually sat next to me. No one ever did. I glanced around quickly. Ah. There were no other free seats. Damn. Guess I was stuck with him for English classes then, in other words for about a third of my time table. Ugh what a drag.

                -Hey! My name is Alexander! You are?

Oh, Alexander not Xander. He was noisy. Way too enthusiastic. The popular type of guy that everybody loved. Good looking, carefree and outgoing. Oh and probably very nosy and talkative. I’m not going to like him.

                -Luce. I replied.

                -Oh! That’s a cute name! He exclaimed as if overjoyed by the sound of my voice, and added an utterly unnecessary wink.

Yuk. Add flirty to the list. Ignoring him I turned back to face the teacher. However this this did not seem to discourage him. Desperately trying to get any kind of reaction he started asking countless questions �" about me that I ignored, about others in the class that I ignored and then about the class to which I finally responded with my best exasperated tone. Could this guy really not keep it shut? Why did he crave conversations that much? Finally the bell rang, feeling me with more relief than it ever had before. I stood up, packed my things and left before Alexander could open his blabbering mouth again.

 

                The bus was full. Squished between two fat sweaty men I tried to stay calm. I needed air, an empty space. Too many people… The door flanged open and I raced outside, closed my eyes for a second and made up my mind to walk home. Where was I? Seven stops away from my destination, therefore about a two hour long walk back home. I sighed. Normally I could bear crowded buses. That guy fault probably, call it a side effect of having someone desperately trying to invade my personal world. I started walking, wrapping my coat tighter around me. The streets were already getting dark because of the early winter. A few minutes later there were no one left on the streets. Cold snowflakes started falling, icing my cheeks. And then I spotted them. Three tall black masses strolling in my direction. S**t, so much for being alone! I tried to pass in front of the three men without acknowledging their presence but one of them grabbed my arm while the two other circled me.

                -Hullo missy! What is a young girl like you doing out in the street when it’s so cold outside?

Prepared speech. How original really. He was definitely used to do this. Way too sure of himself judging his tone �" he usually got what he wanted. Undoubtedly the leader of the group, strike him first, disorient the other two.

                -I’m just going home, please let go of my arm. I replied in a disinterested calm voice.

I noticed a scar on his arm. Broken it quiet recently? Or was it a fight wound?

                -Aw how sweet! Should we make sure you get there safely sweetheart?

The others laughed. The one on my left was a bit fat and seemed slow, easy to hit in the stomach. The other one was shifting in impatience, he would be the first to react when I strike the leader but he was too rash and wouldn’t control his punches.

                -I’ll say it on more time: let, me, go. I threatened.

                -Oh is that a threat I hear? My little…

He didn’t finish his sentence as I suddenly twisted my arm on his confident, loose grip to grab his wrist. Spinning around, I rotated my hand flipping him forward. He crashed on the concrete with a grunt, the next second the excited guy was on me. Spinning around again, I collided my foot with his face before he could get too close, which left him dizzy and allowed me to finish him with a punch in the stomach. To be sure I elbowed his back making him fall onto his leader. Game over for both of them. The third guy was looking at me. I raised an eyebrow. He turned around and left. Coward. But probably a wise move though.

 

                I reached home. Feeling a sudden wave of exhaustion, I decided to skip dinner. Discarding my homeworks, I stepped into the shower and relaxed under warm stream of water. A few minutes later I was in bed drifting into my subconscious.

A scream. Pain. I knew these voices. I woke up in a start. Four thirty. I got up and went to the basement to train for an hour. I felt better afterwards. After a quick breakfast, I slumped into my sofa and started reading. I loved books, stories, imagination. They were not real but they were a private place. They did not betray nor lie, they became your own world �" a new world someone had thought about and introduced you to. I put it down reluctantly when it was time for me to go to school. Throwing my bag over my shoulder I grabbed an apple and some chocolate and braced myself for another long painful day.

                -Hey Luce what’s up? Alexander’s voice snatched me away from my reverie as he sat.

Ugh not again! Should I start ditching English class?

                -Nothing. Oh yeah I was harassed by three guys yesterday but kicked their asses. I said evenly in a desperate attempt to scare him.

                -Haha! You sure are a funny one! Haha, three guys, just that?

Damn. He really thought it was only a joke.

                -Miss Clark! Why don’t you stop discussing and tell me what I was just saying? The pitchy voice of the teacher rose across the room.

                -You said that the next novels we will be studying this year are Pride and Prejudice, The great Gatsby and Great Expectation, starting with the latest. Then you asked what we knew about this novel to which I could thus reply that it was written by Charles Dickens, it’s what we can call a bildungsroman in other words it follows the entire life of the protagonist and the story is divided in three parts which are allegorical for the innocence, the fall and the redemption in the bible. It is also a social satire of the Victorian period. Should I continue? I asked quite defiantly.

Ah! This woman really thought she could put me in an embarrassing situation so easily. Don’t make me laugh. The Alexander guy was staring at me wide eyed. Well at list for once he was silent. The teacher mumble that it was a satisfying answer and went back to her lecture.

                -You sure are impressive! Alexander stated.

                -No, I just read the book already.

                -Yeah, but still you were talking to me and still managed to repeat all of what she had said!

                -No I was not talking to you. You are talking to me and I only reply to avoid having you asking me another ton of questions. Sadly it doesn’t seem to work. So if ignoring you doesn’t work nor does answering you in a disinterested manner, please enlighten me in how I get to finally make shut your mouth? I asked in the same calm voice, making sure the meaning sunk in. Alexander first smiled slightly to see my reaction �" convinced it was another joke surely. Poor mister perfect, nobody had ever rejected him. His eyes searched mine in a last attempt but as he met only hard coldness he finally gave up, turned toward the teacher and didn’t utter another word.

 

                My phone rang. I opened the message, pressing on the fingerprint recognizer. ‘The bridge in 10 min’. They had summoned me now? I had science in five minutes. I sighed, turned around and left the school. Reaching the bridge I spotted the tall figure of Smith, my dad ex co-worker.

                -Hello Luce. How are you doing?

                -What does Kami wants?

                -No bother with civilities heh? I have a work for you.

                -A work? Ah! Don’t say it like if I had a choice in the matter.

                -You know I wouldn’t let them use you if we had any other choice.

                -No other choice? Then please tell me, how did you guys deal with similar situation when my father was still around and forbade you to reach me?

                -You’re too smart for your own good. It’s simple don’t worry. Here are the information. Go to the party �" the guy likes… younger women �" dress as if you were nineteen. Make sure you locate his office, the USB key will take care of any passwords, copy the files and try to remain unnoticed. Read the information about identity etcetera and then…

                -Burn them. I finished.

                -Exactly. Goodbye, good luck and see you soon.

                -And may the odds be ever in your favour.

                -What?

                -Nothing. Just a quote. Bye.

Reviews

[Number Six]

Let's start with what can be improved: There are a few random " signs around the chapter that could be edited out, no sweat there.
And while I know that not every place speaks the same English but, the use of the word "work" in the phrase "I have a work for you." Seems a bit odd. Again, if this is how it is used in your Country, then there's no need to change it.

But that's just the technical aspect, as for the story per se:

Initially judging by the description of the story and by it's intro, I thought I was in for another stereotyped story of the usual "Slice of Life" highschool mumbo-jumbo.
Hoo boy, I was wrong.

The main character's personality is defiantly different from the usual mains (who, despite thinking similar things, often fake likable personalities) which I found to be quite delightful. Her constant annoyance with Xander also grew on me, since it gives the story some meat.

The backstory also has me quite interested. Who's "Kami"? What's Luce's job that makes her do these missions? How will Alexander fit in with the story later on? What is she fighting?
It makes me want to stay just to find these things out.

Very good job, if you can handle these little pesky technical aspects, then you have a killer.
Please continue writing, I'll keep my eyes on you.

-Number Six

[hallowsun]

Thank you very much for your review! It's true I am trying hard not to fall in the cliches so please let me know if I ever do, I really appreciate constructive criticism. As for the few mistakes, it's probably my wrong doing as I am French and thus English is not my native language, even though I tend to prefer writing in English than French. I hope to keep you interested in my story.

Hallowsun