Chapter 4: For Her

She's gone.

This is a reply to every suicide note

And a written apology to every guilt unsaid.

So I pray for those lost words to return home,

Written clearly under the light of her eyes.

With a hope--

A hope that was barely ever there.

Yet it kept the records spinning and the sounds flowing.

 

I can feel your heartbeat racing,

It keeps in rhythm with the speeding cars.

The headlight shine on your back

While you're turned to his false presence.

The impact of the crash brings a white light

The same that shines through the black, concrete sky.

Pushing out every fact you continue to deny

And brings through the fiction that is pure, bliss ignorance.

 

Exchange goodbyes with your old self

Because it's inevitable she's a thing of the past.

Babe, this snow will bring you a winter you'll never forget;

It just won't let you come back.

I'll open your eyes with the innocent

Maybe a lovenote that's dripping with pity and laced with lies.

Well, look who's a walking contradiction

Like a robin on Christmas morning.

 

Following the footsteps left in the sand from strangers you claim you knew

Closed lips and open ears so only static escapes

Slowly becoming the same catastrophy in the end.

Oh, you're just seconds away and they tick off

As if you forgot it's too much to ask for;

to retrace every touch and whisper against his neck.

Every "are you okay?" ended in drastic lies.

He's starting to eat you alive, worse than my lack of nicotine.

Don't avoid this now, it's too late to turn back.

 

Took your lighter to the polaroids in the bottom drawer

The people in it were still imprinted permanently.

They said they weren't afraid to die; but to live.

Too young to realize how torn apart everything started off to be.

Ashes fall and signal the end of your stolen childhood.

The remains turn to a storm, raging all around us.

I swear those raindrops held all the weight on my shoulders.

 

Driving towards the mausoleum of broken minds

As the path winds to an end, reverse the tape to side B

And the soundtrack of your high comes on.

Even though the streetlights SCREAM your name,

You just turn around... and walk away.