Oh, My, Monsters

my entire life, I've struggled with anxiety. this was a poem I wrote for free-writing day in creative writing class about a year ago about that.

oh, my, monsters

how you dance in the dark, with snowflakes

tangled in your damp fur. it’s spring, you know.

and i’m thinking

about how you stayed inside when i was young,

hiding under the bed, knocking on the inside

of my closet door,

making shadows on the windowshades,

and i kept the light on for myself, until

my mother caught

a glimmer of light from underneath

my bedroom door, and i was grounded:

no tv for six months.

no feat in those days, when dad

watched nothing but sports until

he fell asleep,

sound and quiet, although

you couldn’t tell from the cacophony

and i didn’t care

that i couldn’t watch the tube,

never have and never will.

oh my, monsters,

now you’ve moved rooms with me

but i’m too exhausted, too spent

to deal with you

and you’ve evolved accordingly.

i see you from the corners of my eyes,

whispering ugly words

and chasing after me in the night.

but i close my door, keep you out;

instead of keeping

you inside the pressure cooker i call

my sanctuary, my castle, my room,

you’re stuck outside

and i find that i feel sorry for you

mold-spores and hair-flakes

insidiously invisible,

crawling along the basement walls,

overcoming my defenses: a final gambit

that won’t work.

because even now, i keep a light

burning, and i sleep so well in my daylight

clothes, rags that

tie my bones together and are heavy

with night come morning. i shower,

clear the grime,

sloughing off the midnight like warm soapy

water off a duck’s back, letting loose

fear and tension.

everything is alright come morning sun,

you know, yet somehow i can still sense

you. oh monsters,

you dance in the snowflakes and they tangle

in our fur, and i am a sheep in wolves’ clothing,

chilled to the bone

and wondering why it is our waltz

hasn’t yet ended with the inevitable flourish.

Reviews

[Peach]

I like the choice of words and how they depict such monster quality. Keep it up