for your consideration

  Perception is not the same as understanding, presented with the impossible the human condition can be counted on to create a reality far more palatable.
  Standing in a wheat field in Wisconsin I watch as the sky curdles and builds before me, something moves in my blood and I feel like a character that has stepped out of a book.
  What was once pre-ordained is now laid open, the storm cloud might as well be a body on an autopsy table. I learn so much in a span of a few heart-beats, the push and pull of energy, the wave forms that make up light and love and you and me.
  That's all we are after all, vibration and light, held together by carbon and glucose, a walking, talking factory of non-fiction.
 The air is cold and smells like swamp and highway, my breath curls from my mouth and still I stare at the majesty of the clouds above, a juggernaut of botted lightning.
 My black pants and tan shirt and even the long green jacket can't keep the cold from holding my bones, I hold out my arms in greeting and smile at the first of the rain-drops.
 A million possibilties and a thousand decisions have led me here, and some day soon will lead me some where else.
My medititaion is broken by a passing car, I wipe my face and spit rain water into the bowing wheat.
++0

It was halloween and it was night, my mind was gone and I was in the dark. The moon hid behind clouds and the darkness was cold and flat, I coughed once and brought the digeredoo to my lips, I played for the darkness, for the dead.
 The bamboo vibrated and the low growls and howls shook my jaw and my chest, I could scarcely hear myself over the shaking but it held me and and moved me in a sway. They needed to hear the song and I needed to play it, I felt honored to play that night.
 Stopping I did a half bow and thanked my audience.
When I was done she wanted to go back inside, I was surprised to see she was even there, June, a girl I had known for years now, what we had was complicated and at the same time so very simple.
 I loved her and her beauty, her curves and her smiles her voice and her presence. We should have been lovers, we could have learned so much from one another, but I was too scared, or insecure or something equally shamefull.
 She knew and loved me back, our fingers brushed when we would pass the pipe back and forth.
 The only contact we ever had.
Besides the hug she gave me good bye.
 Flawed and fractured and strewn asunder I try to hold it all together.
++O

I've seen the other side, the way things are when we don't have any ego to hold us back.
It's like a great flower of light and happiness, complex in it's geometry and it's meaning.
We return to the god-head and we become one, there is no good nor is there evil, it just is.
Blind and faceless, alone and scared our gods thrashes in the void looking for a way out, a strait-jacket made from galaxies, shackles made of black holes, it shouts and screams into the night.
 It can't see a sun set even though it created it, It can't hold it's son in his arms even though he birthed him.
 Meerily merrily merrily, life is but a dream...
++0

Scorpions and centipedes crawling over themselves to get to me, revulsion builds up inside like a scream.
I fear the pincers and the stingers, the venom and the pain, radiant in the black chittin all I can do is watch as the mountain of insects descends.
Darkness, but no pain.
The legs move over my body like a million feeling needles, they move in precise movements and choreographed displays until they have built themselves into a shining black and red armor.
The weight is immense but I can stand, the world is so far away but I can live.