RED

 

Through the curtain of her eyes,

 A scarlet light was seen.

The new crack of a different day.

First blood was shed and drawn.

Through her ribs

 He pulled the knife

And watched her

Flood the ground

With liquid life and impending hell

---

Sitting beneath a cherry tree.

A new crack of a different day.

She pricked her finger on a rose’s thorn

And saw what could have been.

A tear?

No, salty sea.

Redundancy at its best.

A time to manifest the pain,

She wailed, the sound of loss.

She had to grieve.

---

Spilling wine on mahogany

The same crack, a different day.

A shattered window.

A washcloth,

 Drenched.

And she looks, waits and screams.

----

Love and hate,

a well-known blend,

The final crack of the last day.

Crimson shields and daggers

Erupt In the restless mountain of war and passion,

And right there stands a girl with open arms.

Trying to smile.

Looking through curtains

Of burning eyes.

Reviews

[Matthew Bass]

It´s good there are alot of things I like about it. The red imagery is nice and the differeent perspectives on the same subject are good. Take out the last stanza, it´s unneeded and cliche. Reverse the order of the first three stanzas. you don´t need to the different day references at all. I saw a story line here; she spills wine in the house then sees herself under a tree in pain because she pricked her finger, and her lifeforce bleeds out. You don´t need to tie it together, but if you do explain it through the imagery like the first three stanzas