Mystery Man

Once upon a time, a man , no one knew what his name was, or  where did he come from?  Or anything about him…!

Most people knew that he is a good caring man. He always wore a  white vest with a cap that hides his features and the glow of his face that used to brighten up the street's dark,he looked  fine , as the people who have seen him say ..

He used to walk everywhere , in the narrow street's alleys , in the wood, and inside our houses too , some of them  were able to see him , and many others couldn't…

He is a light touch of caring… His joy was in drawing a smile on a poor child's dirty face… in sitting with an old woman listening to her faded stories … He always looked for those who needed him more than any other… he heard their sobs , their cold whispers between day and night… he heard their running tears …their wounded hearts and feelings…

He looked for us in our darkest moments … In our weakness, in our frustration  …

He was delightful by helping us " the strange people"

Wiping the misery of faces lived on the streets, in dark alleys, in a Dumpster ...People who made street their last hope…

He reached his hand for a desperate teenager who wants to end his wretched being, by a jump off a roof , or by the sharpness of a blade that kissing his veins passionately …

He dried the tears of a wounded lover, a crying mother in the memory of her child's death

He tried to fix our bled hearts by a gentle touch of him…

He was and still around us when we crave his touch  … He has always drawn a smile upon our tears and grief… he is the invisible touch.. The sightless man … Who comes and goes ,and no one can see him, but the people who believe in him…

This man... Is called "Hope"

 

Author's Note

Its my first trial to write a story in English , any suggestions , please review :)

Reviews

[Christoph Poe]

It's a bit difficult to fully critique this considering English is not your first language. I can't imagine how difficult it is to write in a second language, but hopefully, I can get some minor points across.

I really enjoyed this piece! I wouldn't call it a story though. I might call it a fable? It can possibly even be warped into a fairy tale. Even though some of your wordings were a bit off, I understood what was going on and what you struggled to describe at times.

This could even be the start of a much bigger piece if you'd like? The character is highly likable. We (your readers) would like some dialogue too.

Just some quick advice, read as many popular novels as you can that are in English! That will help your wording out a lot.

98/100

Take care!
--Christoph Poe

[Hadeel ( Charming Fairy )]

Thank you so much for stepping by and i will take your advice into consideration , its just was my first trial :P , and 98 its really good for me , thanks chris :)

[Christoph Poe]

English, so I hear, is a difficult language to learn to speak much less speak creatively! You deserve it. :) You are welcome!

Best of luck,
Christoph Poe

[Hadeel ( Charming Fairy )]

Will i have to disagree with you in this point chris , English it can't be difficult at all , in fact maybe its the most easier language in the whole world !! believe me i knew english for my whole life , but i started writing literature two months ago ! and just for fun, i already write in my own language in a pretty good way i believe , but believe me Arabic is a way difficult than english , this is why its the most difficult language on earth ! i am lucky to be born Arabic :P

[Hadeel ( Charming Fairy )]

And thank you for your sweet wishes ^_^

[Yasmin]

Wow!
I didn't expect the end (which is a good thing ;) )
I like this story a lot. There is always a first time to everything and you nailed yours. The way you've created the image of the man by his clothes and the light in his face is creative. The disparate calls he gets and the way he heals people is magical.
There are a few things I would change though for example I would change the title of the story into something dark and mysterious to surprise the reader with the fact that he is the opposite and in the beginning I would describe the place of the story now I know you want it to be mystery but it would give us a little more to imagine so I would start the story with something like this:” Once upon a time in the far mountains of disbelieve lived a man with no shadow to trace…..” and before declaring that he was hope I would talk about the ones who didn’t know him or had no chance to live with him and how their lives were miserable and that he wanted to help them but they refused his help. I don’t know I don’t write stories but I like to read them a lot.
Well done Hadeel. I hope to read more stories and poems soon :D

[Hadeel ( Charming Fairy )]

Habibty thank you for your constructive review
yes there is first time for every thing :)

[khalid]

very interesting nice story. i like it

[Hadeel ( Charming Fairy )]

:)

[Dalia]

Loved the metaphor Hadeel, you were very lucky with your choice of words here, and as your very first short story, this is very good indeed, I felt like you meant other than it seemed, I simply enjoyed it, keep writing, you have a talent :)

[Hadeel ( Charming Fairy )]

^_^ Thanks 7bibty

[Dalia]

welcome
am writing a story btw these days
can't wait to share it with you, hope its as good as yours

[Hadeel ( Charming Fairy )]

I'm so sure its away better than mine :)

[Dalia]

I don't even know its under construction
I'll not rush it :)

[Hadeel ( Charming Fairy )]

:) Take your time

[s y e]

This is really good, I enjoyed it! Nicely written :-)

[Hadeel ( Charming Fairy )]

Thank you my friend :P i still wanna borrow it :P

[s y e]

Haha xP

[Hadeel ( Charming Fairy )]

^__*

[John Alexander McFadyen]

A simple story with a moral tale Hadeel

[Hadeel ( Charming Fairy )]

Thanks john ^_^ I always admire your reviews :)

[SoulCrusader (Yas)]

What a beautiful, heart warming, tender and inspirational story....
love the plot and how it fills the heart with warmth as one reads...

superb writing Hadeel :)

[Hadeel ( Charming Fairy )]

Thank you Yaseen , i am so glad you liked it ;)

[Lucien Maier]

very nice concept. I would suggest breaking up the paragraphs a but in formatting. the way you have it laid out makes it bit more difficult to read. I like the concept. It would be nice if you added something specif hope does so we s the reader can follow what he does. Very nice start!

[Hadeel ( Charming Fairy )]

Thank you i will take your advice into consideration :)

[scripted]

your first story in English... thats why your wording wasn't all that great. I have to say that some of the story was in the present tense and most of it was in the past so that kind of threw me off just a little. But i do believe with a little work your writing will get better, all these mistakes are understandalbe and you have nothing to be ashamed of... good job and keep it up. Thank you for sharing, yours truely Danielle

[Hadeel ( Charming Fairy )]

Welcome i appreciate your honesty :)

[rnuff]

heart touching read

[Hadeel ( Charming Fairy )]

Thank you ^_^