Sublime

Have the courage to do what's Right.

Into and on through the
eye of the mind and the
tree growing onward and
over the sky is a
mystery sought by the
righteous sublime.

Ground ever grasping, my
gills ever gasping, the
time ever lapsing and
passing me by; have I
courage to climb or in
comfort I lie?

Which I will wonder and
wish into life is a
matter of trusting the
angel inside, or of
falling and failing and
fearing Divine.

Terrors and tremors and
nightmarish plight, or an
eye ever seeing the
holiest sight? For this
darkness is only an
absence of Light.

Author's Note

Thanks to a good friend of mine, I've now learned that this type of long-short-short meter is called dactyl. It's apparently scant used in English poetry, but was prominent in Greek and Latin poetry back in the day.

Reviews

[ELii]

there is always light in the darkness. It is up to us to find it. I thought the poem had an awesome balance. I... too.. have had this struggle within myself at times. sometimes you just have to take chances and embrace the light, even when u are not sure of it. Lovely write.

[M_S_Lay]

I dont know that much about poetry. (I write it but I couldnt tell you what type of meter Im using, just what sounds good to my internal tempo)
But this was wonderful and while reading it I could definately feel your music's influence.
Bravo

[PhoeniX]

awesome rhythm! the words connected so well with each other. they were all placed in the right place. well done!

[Fabian G. Franklin]

Almost Greek in form but you lost me with " gills ever gasping". I mean, I could take it as metaphor if there was a referance but there isn't one. Are you a fish trying to climb a tree? I'd like to see that myself. lol I loved the wording but the flow of logical progression in the piece I felt was lacking. I think maybe John Donne wrote a few poems with verse similar to this in style. I love Donne. T.S. Eliot liked him too. Thomas championed his poetry and brought Donne's 500 year old poetry to the forefront of modern times. He writes a great deal about love and sex to have been a Bishop! lol Anyway, I gave you my honest opinion for what it's worth. I don't like Jackson Pollock paintings either and they are worth more than me. lol

[Lau Thiam Kok]

I liked the ending of this writing,

"For this
darkness is only an
absence of Light."

it seems to tell me that the creation of gods is just the matter of "absence of Light" - here is the light, here is the god.

And I would tend to like to say this type of writing is more than just a poetry. It's metaphysics!

[Whispering Aspen]

I may be speculating into my own world here, but isn't that what makes poetry so rich? I gathered a sense of limbo in a world of uncertainty and constant movement. Ours is the choice to affect the movement or to ride along with it. This was my favorite part:
"Ground ever grasping, my
gills ever gasping, the
time ever lapsing and
passing me by; have I
courage to climb or in
comfort I lie?

Which I will wonder and
wish into life is a
matter of trusting the
angel inside, or of
falling and failing and
fearing Divine."

Thank you for sharing this.

[Hedra Helix]

No idea but I enjoy its flow in your capable hands, its a great swing from thought to rhyme.

As far as subject matter, I think that its great too, matches the poem, the right is always there in our moments kept in even meter with the sins of life swinging from side to side just like your sentences. We can sense its strong rhythm but its name in the moment is not always known.

[Nay]

This is a really good example of what I love so much about your writing, be it poetry or prose. The phrasing is so spot on. Continuity, pace--and your writing voice is active, rather than passive. You're writing real words and real sentances and they're naturally lyrical. It's not that you write poetry, but that poetry writes through you.

[Mountain Dawn]

This piece is great! I really enjoyed this, the flow was smooth and effecient in the descriptions.