Emo Revolution

I’ve lost my pain

It ran away during the mid-morning.

The sun slivers across the lost posters

A reward for the return of my pain.

 

Reviews

[Conrad Wrobel]

That certainly is an interesting tid-bit. My thought is that your "pain" is a pet or a child. Yiyr choice of wording in this is somewhat peculiar, but I like it. I always thought the word 'slivers' is very beautiful, I love how you use it in here. Wonderful imagery.
Cheers! XD

[Raef C. Boylan]

This seems to relate a little to the culture of victimisation (especially strong amongst 'emos', but generally found everywhere in the West), whereby people are all locked in Misery Contests, wanting to tell the worst secret, be the most abused, (and subsequently, the most excused), have the most pain etc.
An 'emo' with a dying parent will trump an emo whose parents are going through a separation. And what if they get back together? Damn, what to be miserable about now?
Hence, "lost my pain" and searching for more pain via posters...i think (?)

It's brief but blunt...and the accompanying picture, although cruel, made me laugh.

Thanks for posting this.

[Andrew Dunham]

Read it a few times now... still a bit of a mystery. I like the idea of the pain running away. It implies that it naturally wanted to get away from you. However, we find out that there is a reward for the safe return of the pain. Who is offering the reward? Which part of the writer is pleased to see the pain go, and which part is calling for its return?

It strikes me that there is genuine joy at the pain's disappearance... mid morning seems to convey an optimism, the bulk of the day is yet to come, but it is maturing nicely. It's kind of a comic notion, that the pain scampers off like a puppy in the park. Well rid of it, you'd think....
And yet, an archetypal element of the neurotic psychosis of human function shows up... WE WANT MORE PAIN!!! Why else would we invent wars, religions, countries, separation, judgements on ourselves..? We love it. There is a payoff with pain that we desire. Perhaps it is the rush of attention, the initiation of a feeling rather than the numbness we have reared ourselves on, or perhaps we're just addicted to the cycle of self-absorbed, narcissistic drama that comes with beating ourselves up.

Nicely done.
Now write a suicidal limerick based on fluffy kittens in a shoe.

[Dice Rosenthal]

I don't really get it, but then agian i do....confusing lol. BUt I do know that i like it. It's short but still very good.

[Chris Bighorse]

Pretty funny piece. Simple and pure. I kinda got lost in the 3rd and 4th lines. It wasn't anything bad, I just had to read a few times to really get with was going on. I think that putting quotations around the word "Lost" would help to indicate what 'posters' you're talking about. Otherwise, it looks like you're talking about posters that you've lost before and not "Lost" posters with a reward at the bottom. What is the reward? I think it would be fun to know that. I think this is a great piece, nonetheless. Good work.

[Ms.dmarie]

love it

i feel it..a sort of calling for the return of self..
and the need to feel, maybe??
nice use of imagery

[Casey Mckenzie]

The picture you picked for this made me laugh really hard.
I do like the poem though, it's short and pretty much to the point.
:]