Creamy Light

Now take that sound of

Raging wind hiding behind an

Uncommon breeze.

Pick her apart, piece by thread

“What’s your favorite color?”

“What’s your favorite book?”

The color your eyes long to be

The story that sings stories of we

Hide ‘she’ in a form

Let her lie in laws and rules

The muse runs thick with the blood of the extinct

A dodo bird and woolly mammoth

A poet with a migraine free existence.

I watched her thumb-tip make its way

Across the underbelly of

Pinky, ring, middle, and index

Index, middle, ring, and pinky.

I’ve decided its time to let you be

To linger and sliver and move along

Far away from site beyond the neighboring universe

That held the songs of we.

The plethora of mad-man-ness

Strays, comes and goes.

 

Reviews

[Celtic Cat]

and parting is such sweet sorrow. I love this piece, you may want to re-read for a few typos, but otherwise a completely intriguing tale, a word-play delight, and sudden imagery banging around amidst sweet expressions of love and misguided wanderings of minds. Excellent.

[Raef C. Boylan]

p.s. Thanks for teaching me the word "hading" - it's a very cool way to describe the wind's action.

[Raef C. Boylan]

I found this a really interesting read; there are some great concepts - e.g "The muse runs thick with the blood of the extinct" and " that get the reader thinking, as well as being excellent and original imagery. It's both enjoyable and exciting.

In the line - "The story that sings stories of we" - you use story twice, and it feels like an alternative word could make this statement more powerful, e.g. 'tales'. The vocabulary of your piece is admirable, so this stands out as repetition, detracting from the impact.

"I've decided its time to let you be" - its = it's

Overall, a great poem. Thanks for posting it.

[Annica Nadie]

Let's see...how many times do I have to make up for my hiatus?
I loved this piece very much - very interesting.

[Nicole (Carpe Diem)]

i enjoyed reading this piece... great job