Precipice

Breath slowly,

we have come up on it.

It has been a long and difficult road 

but we have finally arrived

at the equatorial line

where all that is left on the slate of man

is to unlearn the path of existence

and sink back like a wave cancelling equally

all the forces of it self.

God rests above the horizon

and the place where the great blue sea

reaches up to meet him

is the grandest of all illusions. 

Reviews

[Gandré]

I believe, everything is an illusion, we are not real. I liked this mystical poem, the idea going back to origins, I have since years but it is eastern thought and then - this correlates with 'world appeared in duality' what we read in Zoroastrian scriptures. you say - Unlearn the path of existence. How can this go... not by duality principle, not in creating categories of good and bad...or any categories..not in matter and view about reality that it consists of things and their properties - individual things, also called particulars, and properties, often called universals that can belong to many such individuals, but that's how it goes, and that's why there is such a misery around us.

[Samuel Ferris]

its like a mix between that and my attempted imitation of Rilkes style.

[Samuel Ferris]

lol, yea i knew that line was cliche when i wrote it, i just wanted to get the idea down there. I wrote it in a hurry. The equatorial line is the center, or precipice of the earth depending on how you view it, basically just represents the same thing as the wave, the palindromic idea of reaching the full potential and having no where left to go. So the sun over the sea creates the illusion that it is sinking below, but its really just the curvature of the earth that hides it. God basically represents the unknowable or unreachable, and we are tricked into thinking we can but actually can't. I was reading something by Stephen hawkings about black holes and particles and antiparticles and it blew my mind. It was basically arguing the same thing.

[Alessander]

I think "long and difficult road" is too cliche, so maybe think of another way of saying the same exact thing? lol other than that, this poem seemed very metaphysical and reflective. I'm a little in the dark as to how the equatorial line negates the path to existence, but maybe it just needs a little more thought - i like the simile of the wave to describe it though. I am similarly baffled by that place between God and the Sea being an illusion - but it is a very tantalizing puzzle that makes my mind veer in different directions, like maybe that place is our hope, which is false, or desire to attribute grand natural seascapes, etc to a creator. Don't know, but i like the way my consciousness can't quite bully and pin this poem down.