Dawn

Dawn

A Poem by GuineaPig
"

another tetractys poem :p

"
tree
branches
all covered 
in a soft snow
and a thin sheet of newly fallen ice
the world is a glittering white paper
blank and unmarred
by scribbles
dirty
marks
lines
scuffles
ugly words
it is still free
from the pollution of our existence

© 2010 GuineaPig


Author's Note

GuineaPig
thanx for reviews!

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Lovely Tetractys poem.
I believe
"the world is a sparkling white paper" is 9 syllables

I use:
http://www.russellmcveigh.info/content/html/syllablecounter.php

as a back up, but verbally I come up with 9, too.

Otherwise, excellent!!

Thank you for your entry into my Tetracty #2 contest!
Good luck

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Very emotive for those of us who care for the enviroment, and also makes me think about what a destructive force man is. Excellent!

Posted 14 Years Ago


taking another glimpse to see how that sentence
was coming along. delighted to see 9, now 10.
Well done!! Now this is 100 percent perfect!


Posted 14 Years Ago


I loved this, very powerful.
I liked the way that you could tell what point you were making before you even read the last line. You managed to say something without actually saying it. I though that was very clever. Loved it =)

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Lovely Tetractys poem.
I believe
"the world is a sparkling white paper" is 9 syllables

I use:
http://www.russellmcveigh.info/content/html/syllablecounter.php

as a back up, but verbally I come up with 9, too.

Otherwise, excellent!!

Thank you for your entry into my Tetracty #2 contest!
Good luck

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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387 Views
4 Reviews
Rating
Added on March 16, 2010
Last Updated on March 18, 2010
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Author

GuineaPig
GuineaPig

About
I'm not the best at writing, but I like it, so I really really appreciate constructive criticism, because I'd like to get better at it. I like poetry a lot... I'm not experienced much... that's all more..

Writing
Space Space

A Poem by GuineaPig