Amen

hope this prayer of mine gets heard ..

I am so lonesome , i could just die

putting an end to all my hue and cry .

Everything around me seems to be a bane

guess that's what's driving me insane .

Life has now become a burden , relieve me of this pain

let my rotten blood ooze out and flow into the drain ...

Author's Note

something that i had penned on a lonely cold night .. the words just came out

Reviews

[Sweet_pale_cacophony]

I think this one of your best poems..it is very well written,just with the required words and the emotion is nicely expressed through your words,the emotion with which you have written this is the hero here..cause it is so sharp and so cold and chilly..that i could feel it here..

[clauds294]

The words are placed beautifully and make me squirm from how intense it is. Amazing job!

[Angie Diane♥&hea..]

This was a sad poem. I understand what you mean in this poem. This was a nice write. Thanks for sharing. :)

[*** Hey Jude***]

I can't say I want your prayer answered, but I am sure it is heard. Lonesome can end when you reach out to your nemesis! ~ JM

[Randy`s Princess]

heartfelt and warming words very true and logical nice write my friend

[JENY]

Dear stoic…
Please stop thinking in a pessimistic way….
We readers… feel so sad….
That much authentic is your choice of words….
And your way of expressing feelings….in all your poems…

[ShaneBerry]

i love the rhyme scheme

[Ashley.M.E]

I really like this poem, the flow wasn't all there for me, though that could be me... all and all a well done poem.

[Dinesh Sairam]

"putting an end to all my hue and cry" - I don't know how 'hue' and 'cry' are related, but that's the only glitch I'll have to point.

Again, don't use 'tats'! You could save the language by adding one more 'h' :)

The last stanza was perfect :) I liked it a lot :)

Keep writing.

[PadfootBlack]

Mmm. Good job, man. There's a typo of two in there, but a good peice. Hope the Big Guy gave you a hand with this one.

[Lydia Blackwell]

this is simple, but deeply felt. there are a couple of typos which distract a bit. If you are using the word "bane", you do not need an "A" in front of it. it would flow better, also.
short, but good. short is OK in my book.