the literal wording flowed smoothly
the emotions felt like they were genuinely expressed
sometimes i wondered if you were asking forgiveness from a lover and other times i was wondering if the forgiveness you really seek is from self for giving so much to another that does not give back...
you inspired a lot of emotion and that in itself makes a great write.
this is honestly great i like the repetition for give me, because when you truly mean it that's all you can think, over and over. your flow was good. and your thoughts continued nicely to the next line. well done
This was an easy read for me, smooth and flowing ..
Your emotions poured out here ... overflowed...
I like the repetition of "Forgive me". this made my heart ache.
A beautiful poem..
Chloe
"Forgive me
for i crave to wipe away your tears
Transcend with you to a utopian world where there ain't no fear"
It is clear that you flowed your heart out and I think it came out really good. I like the repetition a lot and the passion behind it is just awesome. Great job.
It would be hard not to forgive you because the intensity poured out here is raw and palpable. Equally scary would be the consideration of forgive you because so deep and intense a love might be frightening as a boarders on obsession. This peace weaves a precarious spell of light and dark, hypnotically creating yearning and trepidation all at the same time. A very spell binding read expressed from a very intense soul.
*grabbing a Kleenex*
A heart gripping, gut wrenching, emotive and deep, heartfelt write. The yearning, craving and dire desire to reconnect, reconcile and rekindle a love lost is unmistakable and the repetition in each stanza brings this message very clearly to the fore. A powerful, yet ouchee read indeed!
Lovely piece, the words flowed so nicely. I loved the layout and rhyming pattern within this poem, you somehow managed to take a very conventional rhyming pattern and make it interesting. I loved the repetition of 'forgive me' and how you also ended it with those two simple words as well.
I don't know what to say.. Though I have a concept in my mind that heart break poems are amateurish (Because all the beginner poets either write on the splendors of love or heart breaks), this is certainly not one. With some rhymes and a touching idea, this poem could go on forever. But, it has a certain lovely ring to it. I guess that's what stops me from critiquing this. And I do know that poems from the heart are always special :) Keep writing.
i won't go about describing myself cause it'll end up as a self deprecatory saga .. my poems are there to speak for me .
yesterday mp3 | lyricsfree music downloads | music videos | pictures
Guda.. more..