The Inner Monologue of a Dashing Little Fox

I'm taking a creative writing class in school this year and we had to base a story off of a picture. My picture was of a little grey fox laying down with a paper bag over its snout. This is my little experiment with Second Person point of view. Give feedb

The Inner Monologue of a Dazed Little Fox

 

          Ok, so I think I can guess what you’re thinking. I’m dead, right? Nope. Not even close. Although you may think that, and I’m sure you’re wailing in grief, you can quit screaming. I’m not dead yet. Just a little dazed. I’ll be back on my feet and digging through your trash cans shortly. I’ll be the menace in your backyard. But, oh I love all of the little morsels you humans throw out for me in the good old trash bin. Delicious, absolutely delicious.

          Now, I’m sure you want to learn a little more about me. I know you humans are a lazy bunch, but inquisitive. Or so I’m told. If I were you, I’d absolutely be dying to know more about me. You see that red box? The one with the white words in that strange language of yours? That, good sirs, is my humble and rather quant abode. I know what you’re thinking. Why’d I choose red? Well I didn’t. No one in their right mind would paint their home red. I didn’t have a choice. Trust me, I’ve been absolutely dying – not literally, so you can mop up those tears of yours – to change the color. A nice tope maybe. Or a cool blue. Anything but red. But, unless I can borrow those hands of yours for a minute, I think I’m out of luck, aren’t I?

          Ok, I think I can guess your next question. If I’m not dead, why am I lying in the dirt? With a paper bag of all things stretched over my snout! And why am I covered in cement? (I’ve heard that one so many times). Well it’s not cement. Trust me. That stuff does no good for the fir. I’m a grey fox. Grey from the moment I was born. We’re a rather regal group of foxes. Dashingly good looking, if you ask me. It’s not cement-colored fur. It’s the natural glow of a devastatingly handsome mammal. I hope you like it.

          And why am I lying here? Well, well. That is a good question. I guess while you’re standing there, I might as well keep you entertained. Plus, it helps to talk these things out. I normally don’t have the time to just vent like this. Trust me, the last thing I love to do is talk and talk and talk. But I do love to hear myself speak. It’s a fox thing. You humans wouldn’t understand. Anyway, I am here for a very simple reason. See that wall? On the left? I ran into it. Head on.

          I can tell by the empathetic and pained looks on your faces that you’ve had a similar experience. I have heard that confused and unsuspecting humans often run head on into glass doors. And you humans are very confused very often. I’m sure you’ve done it. Whether you admit it, or not. However, I have to admit, I thought that I was immune to something so hideously stupid. I mean, I am a fox after all. I am known for my cunning nature. But man. That wall sprang up out of nowhere.

          I’ve lived in this little dirt lot, with my humble little home for about a year now. That’s right. I’ve lived here longer than you humans have probably been talking. I know you humans don’t start thinking critically until much later in life. It’s ok, there’s no reason to be embarrassed. I can tell from your face, you are. It’s fine. Nothing to worry about. You’re just not as smart. You’ll learn to be as intelligent as I am eventually. Just wait a little while longer.

          Anyway, because I’ve been living here so long, I know the terrain perfectly. I know where every rock and stone is. It helps me when I take my evening strolls through the dirt lots. I often take these strolls, walking along the beach and hunting any small little rodents I can find. And of course, I sort through your trash. Who knows, maybe tomorrow I’ll find a doughnut or two! Now that would be a find!

          You may not have seen me taking these strolls. I’m very careful not to get caught. You humans are some of the most territorial bunch of mammals I’ve ever seen. It’s kind of annoying, actually. But, alas, it is your nature. Just as it is my nature to be intelligent and cunning. And devastatingly good looking. Have I mentioned that? I try to avoid you humans at all cost. Sure, sometimes you give me treats. But most of the time I run into your human females. And they sure can scream. It practically shatters my eardrums!

          Anyway, I was taking one of my strolls earlier this evening and I happened to smell something mouthwatering in your trash can. An entire lunch just thrown away! Absolutely delicious. I remember tearing through the plastic and paper. I didn’t waste all of my time eating it there. I wouldn’t want to get caught. But I just couldn’t wait until I got back home.

          I stood there, debating while the heavenly aroma wafted from the bag. Eventually, I found a solution. It was an inevitable thing. I mean, after all, I am highly intelligent. (I’m sure I’ve mentioned that, but you humans learn so slowly. I figured I’d repeat myself often so you can get the picture a little easier). I decided I’d carry the bag on my snout. That way, I could eat and run back home at the same time. Genius idea, isn’t it? I thought so too. You may applaud if you wish.

          Well I took off with lightning speed and efficiency through the low brush. I wasn’t really paying attention to my surroundings. You wouldn’t either if you could navigate like I could. I knew this world so well. And yet. I wasn’t expecting you humans to screw it up for me. You always change things. Pollution, parking cars next to fox’s houses where they shouldn’t be.

          That’s right. Look more closely at that wall. That wall is actually the side of a car someone carelessly parked next to my quant little home. I had sprinted past those red walls, thinking I’d stop shortly for a midnight snack. Then I ran into the wall. Head on. The impact with your stupid metal car knocked me backward and into the dirt. Just like you see me now.

          And of course, the paper bag is still on my snout. A very indignant position and not very flattering. I’m sure you think me a very pitiful creature. But save your pity. Give it to some poor little dolphin trapped in a net. I’m fine. I’ll be fine. If I can just stop my head from spinning. Not literally. I thought I’d clarify that. You humans take things so literally sometimes, it makes my head hurt.

          Well, there you have it. That’s why I’m lying in the dirt with a paper bag on my head. It was a harmless accident, and maybe you’ll think more carefully the next time you park your cars. They’re death machines and I would hate for another poor fox to run into one. I think I’ll stage a protest. Yes. When you wake up, you’ll find an unstoppable protest line spread before you. I will never be found in this annoying and unflattering position again. It will ruin my image. I’m sure you understand. Image is everything to you people.

          Well, I can feel my head beginning to settle. Your face is coming into sharper focus, and I must say I don’t like it. Don’t like it at all. But, I didn’t mind talking to you. It was delightful. If you’d like, come back tomorrow. I would love to enlighten you pathetic humans. Who knows? Maybe I can accomplish the impossible and get you people to actually learn something. Well, we’ll see. Come on back. I’ll be waiting.

          But for now, I think I’ll just dash into my little red house. Oops! Almost forgot my bag. And after all of that suffering too. Well, I’ll see you soon. Come on back…

 

          … Well, well. You’re back! I’m glad. I’m not really sure why you came, or if you had a topic in mind. But I have one. And I think you’ll find me fascinating. As usual. By the end of our little chat, you’ll walk away inspired. Now, let me begin.

 

Author's Note

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Reviews

[sorentense]

XD That was hilarious!

Man, that little fox is quite a jerk. I love the character's consistency, and all the attitude he has. The piece almost sounds like it could be performed as a monologue...except that tit's too long, and fox costumes are hard to come by. You did an amazing job getting into the head of this bratty little animal, so I congratulate you on this piece!

[M. Elizabeth Archer]

Beautiful, just beautiful. I must say, the picture it was based off of must be amazing...

At any rate, you know the rest of my comments. I doubt you still have them, but that's your own problem.

:)

[Syke]

Did I or Lyrus serve as the model for the Fox's attitude? Very good story, it definitely reads like a monologue, and I mean that in a good way. The fox actually reads like he's talking to someone, someone he finds to be rather thick in the head. Was the picture you included the original picture you based it off of, because if it is, you might need to check your contacts/glasses and make sure you had your printer set to print color. No seriously though, great job! You characterized the fox excellently and it is very CREATIVE if you know what I mean.

[Jetta Zippora]

Cute and very creative! I love it!

[thecoolone52]

thanks for entering my contest........... i liked the whole orginal theme....... but i got a little bored half through....... not to be a dick or anything......... theres only so much you can talk about when your writing about a fox.......... thanks though for entering my contest