Applesauce and Soft Boiled Eggs

Growing old seems really bad.
However, not everything is so sad.

Not many things left we can chew.
With not many years in view.

Going to bed before the sun can set.
Hoping we won't wake up with our diapers wet.

Rushing to the table for our wonderful sauce.
A sauce made of apples put on earth by the boss.

Almost tripping on my cane.
Cause I see my neighbor, who is my bane.

With his suped-up ride.
My time I can no longer bide.

Sticking my cane in his spoke.
Hoping that my hip won't go broke.

Getting ahead and about to round a bend.
Hearing a noise and turning only to be pinned.

Looking down I see my neighbor crawling by.
Feeling as if I am going to die.

Knowing that if I lose I will pay.
I crawled into the wheelchair and paved a way.

Arriving just in time to make the last applesauce mine.
Tasting victory is fine.

For my neighbor I thought of as a lass.
Cause soft boiled eggs gives him gas.

Reviews

[Jonathan Bryant Dean]

I thoroughly enjoyed this piece, it is a great read, but did you mean to list this as a limerick? It is not written in a limerick form per se. The following is an example of a basic limerick:

The limerick is a fun five-line poem,
Enjoyed by all those that know �em,
With two rhymes up top,
Then one last to stop,
And two in between, not below �em.


I love limericks so much, that I have written over 500 of them, as well as a book:, entitled: "What is a Limerick"

The beauty of poetry is the fact that a poet may choose whether or not they wish to "draw within the lines" so to speak. It is not necessary for the poet to adhere to strict guidelines for a particular poetic form, but when you go ouside of the lines, that does open the door for the outside observer to make comments.

I have also explored a few other alternative forms based upon the limerick:REVERSE UPSIDE DOWN LIMERICKJonathan DeanThis is a reverse, upside down limerick, That rhymes on both sides,Begat by my fancy decides,Amiss, new rhyme scheme that I pick,Dismiss not, for tis not an easy trick,I, Oh, I am sure that this is a "First",Reverse upside down,Perverse all around,My My, how it quenches my thirst,By and by now I know I am cursed!DOUBLE LIMERICKJonathan Bryant DeanYou can write a poem �bout most any clich�,The subject can be of any known topic,Even about dance moves as people sach�,In the East, the West, or in climes so tropic,Many poems are writ,By poets young and old,With a quick enough wit,These stories are told,And of subjects there�s an endless cach�, Unless, topics, elude your eyes, �Myopic!�

I welcome any feedback that you may wish to share regarding my poetry as well.

[Rc R. Vagilidad]

what a contradiction. i like the way you contrasted the food, especially the eggs in the last line... i get the thought of what to eat if i get old enough i cant chew anything of my tastes. and accordingly, i will eat what i served, and thats the depository of all whats left behind, being old, being fragile to reality, vulnerable to everything... losing ends from what is usual...


damn, i cannot savor the future ahead of me, perhaps i'll do it today! thanks for submitting your poem! i don't really criticize on how the poem, or limerick is written, whatever the cause, the thought of the poem weighs greater than anything else, and i love this one! i hope i can get another good choice, making a good categorization! i'll be hoping for the win for this! good luck!

[Madelaine]

This was an interesting write. I just imagined these two old people going at it.

I'm one of those people that doesn't like rhyming in poetry. Like, it's good when it just flows completely, but in this poem it just didn't work for me. You forced it on too much.

"Sticking my cane in his spoke.
Hoping that my hip won't go broke."

[Rie Sheridan Rose]

aside from not being a limerick...lol...it is a cute poem. :)