Hitman

A Poem by Ana

He's never had trouble nailing his targets before, so why is this time any different?

He sat inside the darkened room, sweat beading on his face.

He'd been following her trail for months now, and he'd finally arranged a place.

As he set his gun up on the counter, his heart beat with such ferocity.

But why? He'd finally be bringing an end to this female's monstrosity.

He placed his eye against the scope, his breathing growing heavy.

All he could do was hope, and try his best to be ready.

She stepped into his line of view, and his mouth opened with a gasp.

He stifled, his voice barely a rasp.

Her hair was like the night sky, jet black and full of life.

Her complexion so fair and soft, it tempted him to cry.

He set his gun down, sitting back

his head against the wall.

How could he be expected to kill such a beautiful woman?

This was too much for him all

He threw his gun down on the floor, his head held in both hands.

He couldn't do this anymore, couldn't meet such high demands.

© 2017 Ana

Author's Note

let me know what you think, please

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Reviews

I think this poem is good but for me, the rhyming doesn't seem to fit. For example: this female's monstrosity. He stifled, his voice barely a rasp.
I think a story would have been better.

Also, the first four lines are not written as couplets as the following lines are.

( Couplets usually comprise two lines that rhyme and have the same metre.)

This is a good poem but IMHO could have been better.

Posted 7 Years Ago

Mrs Mania

This is a very nice poem. I like the sense of anxiety, overrun with adrenaline, as the female finally steps into his line of view and the reader guesses whether or not he will pull thev trigger. I do believe this would make a great story story however, I do hope you add more. Maybe explain with detail 'why' this man is planning to shoot this girl? What is his motive? When you say, "bringing an end to this female' monstrosity", it would be nice to have some background information on her so that we can understand why she is a target.