The horrors of the dream world

Sometimes you dont want to go to sleep. This thing is really kind of old and I am not happy with it anymore in terms of the writing, but I am putting it up because I just like the idea so much, and because it was the first piece I did that people wer

When you go to bed tonight, you should pray to your god that you will not experience the same night as me.
You shuld hope that your night will be pleasant and that the demons that hunts me doesn’t seek new prey.
I go to bed each night, though I never want to sleep, I just sit in my bed waiting, wishing that I could be awake forever, never drowsy, never sleepy.
But every night it gets me, every night it creeps up at me and it takes me into the land of dreams, I know this for a fact.
It always starts the same way, I just sit there, fighting the sleep on my own, sitting in the most uncomfortable position I can find. But the sleep always overpower me and takes me to that one place that I fear above all else.
It is always black to begin with, empty, nothing moves, nothing exists, only darkness. It is a place that drives many a man mad, but from there I am taken to the place I fear above all, the place of true horrors.
I emerge between small green hills with the sun high above the small white clouds, it seems like a paradise at first but it is a hell created by my inner demons.
The hills so green and peaceful, are where the demons live, and the sun is no sun but a face of madness, its cackle of insanity rains down upon the land as acid drops burning through the sky, burning away your mental strength in seconds.
So I bide my time among the hills, hoping that this night will be different, this night they will not appear, this night I will have peace.
I know that it is a foolish hope, I know that there is no real hope, because in these two years I have had the same dream every single night.
It is always the same way: I always wait for what seems like hours, though it is but a few minutes, between the hills and then, without any warning at all, their mad laughter starts echoing between the hills and all my hope vanishes from the face of this cursed world.
I tell myself that they are not real, that this is all in my head, but I’m not sure if that makes them less or more scary.
The laughter draws closer and I start to tremble, I try to flee, I always do, but I know it is hopeless.
The plants stop me, they always do, the small flowers that looks so pretty works for the demons of this land.
So they stop me and I see no other choice than to turn around and face the demons that will emerge between the hills in a few seconds, I know I have seen it happen all too many times.
I tremble for I know what lies ahead, I know that they will torture me with their ‘games’ again and again, until I am near death.
The colour coded demons approaches, their mad laughter still echoing among the hills, I know their names I have heard them say them aloud every few seconds, every night of two years.
In a few hours they will be done with me and I will wake up in my bed, sweating, there mad laughter still ringing in my ears and nothing in my mind but those the names of my tortures:
Tinky Winky, Dipsy, Laa-laa, and Poo.

Reviews

[Anthony Beal]

Greetings, Greven,

This piece ends in a way that made me smile. I've always found the Teletubbies a little creepy too...

The piece maintains a good sense of foreboding throughout, each new paragraph building the reader's sense of dread that something terrible is imminent. I did notice a few slight grammatical issues, which I'll share below:

In the 9th paragraph down (approx.) I think you might have meant "bide my time..." rather than "bite."

In the (approx.) 4th paragraph from the bottom, you might consider revising "The plants stops..." to either "The plant stops..." or "The plants stop..." This could apply to he verbs "looks" and "works" in the same sentence.

In the next paragraph, in the sentence ending with "all too many time," the word "time" should has an "s" at the end.

Lastly, in the sentence "they will torture me with there 'games'..." "their" should be used rather than "there."

I'm not nitpicking here; just hoping to offer some constructive and helpful points, and hope you receive them as such. All in all, I enjoyed the piece very much.

[Rachel Koepke]

i really liked it will you please read some of my stuff. ur really good for a new writer