6. South America

Dear Dad,

            I don’t know how you do it. You are always looking out for us. Someone funded Hale’s Antarctica trip - an anonymous donor. Harrison said maybe it was in response to the ad he put out, following up one of his travel articles. There was no name attached to it, just an angel investor who wanted us to see this whole thing through. Half of the money! Amazing. She couldn’t believe it. I cried when Harrison told us about the deposit. The check was written care of the newspaper with “From a friend” written on the memo line. A friend indeed. The newspaper people were delighted. Part of the story, they said. It’s almost like destiny. I’m inclined to agree.

            It’s been harder and harder to say goodbye, somehow, not easier. It’s like more and more of you is slipping away from us, lost in random corners of the world. But we will always have a small piece of you watching over us from the mantel. We used one of the frames from the old house and you are there, right there in our living room, and I am reminded of your love and support each and every day. In our prayers at night we make sure to look up at your picture and you are right there still with us, and you are in our prayers, but I’m sure you already know that. 

I continue to pray for our family every day. We have grown a bit closer over the course of these last months, and with each flight across a new ocean or over a new border I just cannot believe the strength that we have developed together, all because of you and this crazy idea that you have had. Our lives will certainly not be the same. Who would have thought it? Small town me in Asia, in Africa, here in South America? Never in a million years. Who knows, maybe I will take the kids and Vick on a cruise when I get back and we have saved up a little bit of money. World travelers! I feel like Vick wouldn’t go for it though. Our kitchen is a disaster! This whole trip isn’t about the money, but any little bit will help.

  I remember you told us to move out of that spot a couple of times when we were going through that pickle of a time, but now I couldn’t imagine being anywhere else. Close to Vick’s parents’ - you always got along so well with them - good schools for the boys. Little Eli though. I wish you were around to talk some sense into him. He is a little too young to remember a lot about you, but Noah has that picture of you and him fishing together up on his desk, that bobber hung across the corner of it. Special memories.

How is Mom doing? I feel like she would be just tickled to hear that we are in Rio. The colors, the beach, the food, it’s all very nice and exotic. Remember one year she suggested that we have a parrot show for Hale and Harrison’s birthday? We made bird feeders from pine cones, and that parrot man came and did tricks with the birds. I looked for them here and laughed at the thought of it. We were a bit older. Check thought it was dumb at the time. You wanted me to get out and help. That bird pooped right on my arm. What a gas! 

No, no colorful birds in Rio yet, but a lot of colorful people out on the streets. The Copacabana, ah so unbelievable. I walked along it for hours. Me! I felt safe somehow, I just knew you were watching us. The wavy pattern along the street is hypnotizing. There is music all around. Mom would have danced all night. She would have dragged you out here, laughing the whole time, just like you used to at that dinky restaurant where they had the live music - Radler’s, way out in the country. You used to love their food, Mom used to love the music, and it was a special place for us growing up. They closed a few years back. I told you that right? Shame, I would have liked to bring the boys there. But change is change, hard as it is to see things come and go. The things that we pass to the next generation of our family. I wish we had more. Wish we could preserve all of it. My memory is going. I hope I can remember all the little things we used to do. All the good times we had. Our whole family.

Check didn’t want to walk. He was too busy enjoying the steaks. I think he is opening up too. He said the steak was the best he has ever had, and that is definitely saying a lot - you know that. They do it really interesting here. They bring the whole slab of meat right up to the table and they cut it off right onto your plate. Never seen anything like it. Check was in heaven. He just kept on calling them over again and again. You would have too! They had chicken and salad. But Check said “I don’t want to waste my time with that s**t.” I was embarrassed for his language but it was just nice to see him finally having a great time. We went right back to that same place the next night, together with Hale and Harrison. Harrison tried to keep up. But I don’t think anyone could keep up with Check - maybe you, maybe not. Even Hale was having fun - she likes the “locally” places - and when the music came on she got up and danced and I swear I saw a little bit of Mom in her. We all laughed together. I bought a skewer and a glass to remember the night. Maybe I’ll try to fix it for Vick and the boys. They would get a kick out of it.

Hale hasn’t had any flare-ups with whatever she had - her mania - and I want to thank you for looking out for her with that. Thanks for keeping her safe when she ran into that bit of trouble when she went out alone. To be a woman going out alone in a place like this… she must have had someone looking out for her! But it broke my heart to see her come crying. But she wasn’t just crying about what happened. 

She was sad, crying, saying over and over that she didn’t spend enough time with you Dad, that she wasted the loan you took out to help her through college, that she could have done so much more, that she wanted to come home but there was always something else to do. But she was there with you the whole time wasn’t she?

It was you that gave me the strength to lean down to her and say that she was doing so much. And I realize now that she is. The others sometimes give her a hard time, especially Check, for not sticking around at home, for not being with you more, for not leading a traditional life, for not “growing up.” At one time I also thought that she wasn’t, you know, giving back to our family. That she took the gifts that you gave us and wasted them on selfish pursuits. But I realize now that that was never the case. 

Can’t everyone see that she was there with you that whole time? I like to think that you and Hale had a special relationship. She is definitely like Mom. I think you know that. You missed that sense of adventure. She’s the reason that we are out here in these crazy places isn’t it? Fearless Hale, Mom’s little baby girl, has the most of her spirit. No matter what Check said before about her not caring, she’s been there, leading the charge, living the life that Mom always wanted. World traveler. Mom always fancied herself one. She always talked about wanting to go to the temples of India or to the castles of Germany or to see the penguins in the Arctic. Hale got it - that bug - the ability to push through the fear. Don’t the others get it? What better gift to give your parents than living life to the fullest?

She says thank you in her own special way. And we are all thankful for this journey that you’ve set us on. You’ve brought us that much closer together. You’ve taken me to places that I would have never dreamed of going because you cooked up this crazy scheme to get us there. You’ve given me a deeper understanding of our family, and even of Mom.

More than that, you keep us safe - all of us in this crazy mixed up dangerous world - and I could never ever thank you enough for that.

 

Love,

Genevieve

 

 

Dear Vick,

            South America is the best destination yet. I just wish you could see it. Things have really taken a turn for the better here, over the past couple of months really. Ever since we got the news about the donation to Hale, this thing actually seems within our reach. Well, we are here, aren’t we, getting through the final leg. I would say we are reaching for sure!

            When we landed here in Rio, things felt immediately different. It was like a cloud of darkness was lifted off of our shoulders. The weather is a one-eighty. The streets, the people, everything has an air of excitement and chaos to it, but not like the chaos when we went to Cambodia, but a more refined chaos. It’s like an attitude of anything goes, but somehow you know that anything that goes will be an adventure. I feel like I’m finally embracing this whole travel thing. I feel less nervous, less self-conscious, less like someone is going to take advantage of me around every new corner. Or at least more accepting that if something does happen, then things may just turn out OK. What’s that saying? An object in motion stays in motion? Maybe the same goes for safety - an object in safety tends to stay safe. Is that a dangerous way to think? 

            Anyway. We arrived at our hotel, and it’s even better than the pictures online made it seem. This is the first time ever that I have tried to book a place myself instead of going through a service or having someone help me out with it, and wouldn’t you know, I didn’t do a half-bad job. The place we are staying has a pool on the roof. Up there, you can see the mountains and the beach and everything. It’s so grand and exotic just looking around. I could spend hours just sitting up there watching the waves roll in, feeling the heat in the air, listening to the relaxing music play softly all around. 

On our first night here, we took a walk along the Copacabana, just like the song. Remember they played it at our wedding, and your parents broke out their best dance moves! I couldn’t believe it. I just wanted to walk and walk and take in the scenery, the lights, the people - everyone here seems so happy, so glad to be alive. I was thinking you and I should come back here, stay at this same hotel, just the two of us. I know it’s hard for you to take off work, but it might be fun - the first time since our honeymoon that we will have been together, just us. Have a think about it, and maybe we can get it together, maybe not soon, but some day.

That first night, Harrison said he had to do some writing in his room, but it didn’t seem like he was avoiding us like before. He said whoever sent us that money definitely needed a proper thank-you and he was going to work hard on it. Hale said she wanted to go dancing and so she went off on her own to some club in another part of the city. Meanwhile, Check and I found this amazing Brazilian steakhouse. I guess here they just call them steakhouses? We have got to find one somewhere near us. It was just meat on meat on meat, and you could have sworn Check was in heaven. He has really turned things around, and it seems like he is completely different person. Maybe this whole journey is changing him too after all. He is laughing and telling us to get up and get out and see things, and not really complaining (too much). I don’t know if it’s the food, or the sunny weather, or what, but I hope it sticks. I really do. It would certainly make things a lot easier to deal with if we had him smiling and laughing instead of finding every single little thing to pick about.

We had some good conversations, and not just the usual reminiscing about the old times. It’s like he has new goals or at least interests. He was talking about a book he read about military history and was going on and on about this campaign and that. I had no idea what he was talking about really but it was just nice to see him excited about something. He said he was thinking about booking his own trip to go see some historical sites. I hadn’t heard of them, but maybe you should ask him about it next time he comes by. We also had a little bit of wine (not too much!), and it was just actually an overall pleasant evening. I walked back to the hotel with him, and we didn’t say much on the walk, but we were just taking it all in. I know Mom would have loved it for sure. I was surprised we made it back to the hotel just by foot after all that walking (and after all that eating!). 

I sat in on the rooftop patio at the hotel doing some writing in my journal for a little while by myself, just watching the stars and the lights of the city. You can even see the big Jesus statue lit up on the mountain from here. Such an inspiring place to read and write. I must have lost track of time reading and writing because it was really late. But what do you know, while I was up there so late, Hale came up to the rooftop crying. It wasn’t like her to look like that, or at least I hadn’t seen her cry like that, her makeup running down and her eyes all puffy. 

I asked her what was wrong and she just said, “I messed up Ginny.” And I asked her what she meant by that, and she rambled on and on, you know how she gets, but what I got from it was that somehow she had gotten her pocket picked in the club she was in, or fell for some con job. I wasn’t sure of the details but all I could say was “Oh Hale, I’m so sorry.” And she then went off again but she was saying that it’s her who should be sorry and that she was wasting the opportunity that she was given from the gift that that donor sent, and she kept rambling, probably a little bit drunk, but really she didn’t deserve to get taken advantage of like that. I asked her how much had gotten stolen, and she said it was her spending money, some cash that she had taken out when she got here, or was it before she went out? 

Some of the details were a bit hazy. But the bottom line is that she lost some spending money (not all of her money, thank God), and I really don’t think that there is any way for her to get it back. She started talking fast, and I thought she was going to go into one of her episodes. I mean, this seemed like a place where something like that might happen. But it didn’t. She just kept talking really quickly. Like at one Moment she was saying that she would march down to the police station and they would drive around all night trying to find each person she danced with, but then in the next breath she was saying that it was useless to file a police report and just called herself dumb for making a careless mistake.

It was all coming out in such a jumble that I just had to stop her and give her a big hug. And she sobbed into my shirt. I mean she really let me have it. It was unlike anything I had ever seen her do. And she was sitting there in her short skirt on the roof, and her eyes actually left a black spot on the shirt I was wearing up there, but luckily it was just one of my sleep shirts since I had changed into something more comfortable after dinner. She started saying that she always messed everything up and that she should have been there more and that she was selfish and that us siblings always had to pick up her slack. And all I could say was no, no, it’s OK. I just listened to her pour it all out and I tried to be reassuring as I could, but it was heartbreaking to see her there like that. 

But you know what? This was a Moment I had really been waiting for my whole life. The opportunity to really be a strong figure for my sister. And wouldn’t you know it, it wasn’t back at home like I envisioned. It was down here on the other half of the world, on what I would have thought was her turf. But she was seeking comfort from me like it was the most natural thing in the world. It was me being the strong one in a strange and dangerous world.

 I told her not to worry about the money. I hope you don’t mind. I know things are really tight for her right now. Luckily the cruise has everything paid for, so it was just a couple of meals and a bit of shopping that I helped her out with here. I know you would have done the same thing. She started talking about how she wasn’t there for Dad or for our family, and I immediately felt bad, you know, since we had talked about that before. But really, I’m realizing that she wasn’t avoiding our family, just showing her love in a different way.

I guided her downstairs and actually tucked her into bed, just like the old times. She fell asleep pretty quickly. And I turned off the light and kissed her on the cheek. I told her that she’s done so much for our family, out there having adventures when the rest of us just sit at home. And I told her that Mom would be so proud. And I know that she is.

The next morning was another ashes scattering day. And it’s still hard as ever to let those things go. I don’t think I’ll ever get used to it. But at least I’m getting more efficient at it. I made my little satchels of ashes again and put them in a separate bag in my purse and went down for breakfast. It was like nothing had even happened the night before. Hale was sitting there laughing and joking with the others (I was late again!). And wouldn’t you know it, Check was laughing along with her. She hadn’t said anything about the pickpocketing, and I don’t really know if she did. But we exchanged a glance that morning that we hadn’t had in a long time, a look like we shared something together, like it was our own thing. 

I gave everyone their satchels and told everyone to get moving. I felt so organized, since I arranged the taxi to get to the park where the Christ the Redeemer statue is. I have to say, I just feel so confident these days, like nothing is really holding me back anymore. You know how I told you how I told my family some things that I hadn’t talked about in a long time, just you, and I think knowing that they have my back really helps things. Anyway, we rode from our hotel to the entrance of the park, and when you get there you have to transfer to this little bus thing that takes you up the mountain. And I already knew it and had booked the tickets beforehand. Harrison was definitely impressed. We got to go straight to the front of the line and got right on the shuttle that takes you up.

We settled in to the shuttle and started going up the mountain where the statue is. It doesn’t look that big from the city, but driving up - let me tell you, it was a surprise to me. We just kept going and going up, around curves, the whole road surrounded by green tropical rainforest. And then, what I thought was a big bank of fog came over the road, and I felt disappointed at first, and a bit nervous, until Check told me that we were going up into a cloud. I couldn’t believe it. 

I started to get nervous as the fog got thicker, and the road got curvier. I could tell that we were getting pretty high up when my ears popped. I had never felt anything like that in a car before. But then, the shuttle stopped and the driver opened the door. It was actually cold! I hadn’t brought my jacket because it was so hot. I thought to myself - I have a whole suitcase of cold-weather clothes back at the hotel and the one time I need it here I left it behind. But I wrapped my arms around myself and walked out along this path on the side of the road. I asked the driver if this was where the statue was, and he just motioned toward where the road continued up the mountain, so I guessed it wasn’t. But I’m glad we stopped, because right at the end of this short path was a little lookout, and right when we got onto it, the clouds cleared for a Moment and all of Rio spread out below us. 

It was like a movie, but this was real life. The colors - blue and green and the yellow of the buildings sticking up between them - and the landscape, rocky mountains, curving beaches, boats dotting the water. It was all so magical. I tried to take some pictures but I couldn’t get the whole thing in there, even with the panoramic feature. But I’ll show you some when I get back. It was one of the best views I have ever had. Check and Hale looked out together, and Check even put his arm around Hale for a Moment. Harrison said thanks to me and we all looked out over the city together. And I wasn’t even afraid of the height.

The driver came back to tell us to get back to the shuttle since we were on some sort of time schedule. I wished we could have just stayed at that spot, but some clouds came back through anyway, and besides, I thought that if that area was so spectacular and it wasn’t even the top, what would be at the next one? Also, it was getting cold and the driver had turned the heat on. But we weren’t in for long. After a few more minutes of driving up through the clouds, the driver pulled into a lot and said that this was the Christ the Redeemer statue. I looked around and there were only steps that led up into the clouds. Of course. I don’t know how anyone does anything in these places if they are handicapped! But we made it up, and there it was - the Christ the Redeemer statue. 

It looked different up close - I guess because right under it you couldn’t really make out its whole form. It was still cloudy up there and so some fog kind of blocked out the head at some points. I thought to myself for a moment that we should have spread the ashes at the last viewpoint when we were looking down at Rio. Now it was just like looking up at a hunk of concrete in the fog. We couldn’t even see the whole statue at times.

But when I started handing out the satchels, something happened. The clouds dispersed for a Moment, and it was like everything changed up there. The statue turned from concrete color to pure white and it almost sparkled in the sun. I looked back to see if we could see that great view of Rio again, but no. When I looked down it was a sea of clouds all around us, all lit in bright white by the sun, which felt close and warm from that high up. I could have sworn it was heaven. I looked back up to the Christ the Redeemer statue and I thanked God for making this Moment happen, and wouldn’t you know it. I was the first one to sprinkle the ashes up there. I just had to take advantage of that Moment. It just felt so right. I knew at that Moment that things were all OK. Hale went next, and she gave me another big hug. And then Harrison and Check. And this time, Check was the one who hesitated a little bit. He looked around and he looked up at the statue and it looked like he was saying something to himself but I couldn’t really tell what it was. But then the clouds started coming back in, and he let the ashes go, and put the empty satchel into his pocket. And just like that the sky closed, like heaven was waiting for just that Moment.

I thought about taking a picture there, but there wasn’t really anything to take a picture of at that point, and we could feel some mist coming in through the clouds, like it was going to rain, but the rain was all around us. The driver ran up and he said that we should go, and so we kind of hurried back down the stairs (well, as fast as I could), and got back into the shuttle that was going to take us back down to the bottom of the mountain. And right when we got down past the cloud line it was raining. Our timing was perfect!

Our cab was still waiting for us when we got back down to the entrance of the park - it was a tip that I learned from a travel program - and so we were able to head back to the hotel right away. I joked that we didn’t need a warm jacket anymore, just a rain jacket. But the rain gave us some time to unwind in the hotel room and for me to do some writing. I’ve been thinking a lot, as always, about our family and about Dad, and about how this whole situation has left us, but I think it’s really left us in a better place, surprisingly. I was scared - terrified, really - about where this whole thing might lead us. I guess I just needed to (like Hale put it) trust in the universe, and hope everything turns out for the best. It’s been a real joy to see our family come together, and I knew that Dad had some plan for us. I just couldn’t see it at the outset.

Even though it’s harder to say goodbye to Dad each time we spread out his ashes around some new corner of the planet, some other things have really gotten easier - helping family, getting out and trying new things, living a little bit more freely. Time has passed more slowly over the past 6 months, but not in a bad way. It’s like we jammed 6 years into the last 6 months somehow. I used to think that time went by in the blink of an eye, and I struggled to hold onto it as it slipped through my fingers. I mean Noah and Eli are already in school - both of them, moving forward onward more and more - and it used to feel like I would never be able to stop or slow down the time. But the past 6 months something has happened, and I feel like we just got so much time here, quality time, and it may sound crazy but whenever I come home into your arms it feels like time stops, like I can finally just hold on to you and the kids and to a Moment, and finally things seem within my control. 

At our dinner that night after we spread Dad’s ashes in literally one of the most heavenly places I have ever seen, I couldn’t help but smile as I looked out around the table. We went to the same steakhouse I mentioned before - the one where they carve out the meat at your table. Everyone was laughing; I danced to Latin music with Hale as Harrison had an eating competition with Check. It was like we were gathered around the table in our old place out in the country one last time. But this wasn’t the country at all, and it wasn’t Mom or Dad or even the siblings that made it happen. I was proud to see something that I had planned and worked for come together in the best way, without anyone’s help (even though I know you offered it. It felt good to have done something myself - I liked the taste of it, and I’m ready for more.

We have a couple of flights coming up to get us down to the bottom of South America, and then I don’t really know what the communication will be like. I’m definitely ready to take a break from flying for a little bit. It does a number on my back, but I guess you have to do what you have to do. It is what it is. But that doesn’t mean that I won’t get through it. Getting to watch so many movies is a perk though.

I’ll try to call in one last time before we get on the cruise to talk with the kids. But you know, I think having a little time to think on my own will be a good thing. I’ll probably be thinking about you the whole time, but since we’ve been together I’ve almost forgotten what it’s like to be on my own. Being on the cruise will give me some time to myself - we have a few days of just sailing each way where no activities are really required or planned - it’s just getting there. 

            I think something that I’ve come to realize is that my whole life I’ve defined myself in terms of other people, as a daughter, as a wife, as a sister, as a mother. And I think that I’m OK with being all those things. But I’m also ready to add to the list - to find out what happens when I let myself think about me for a change.

 

All my love,

Ginny

 

 

Dearest Noah and Eli,

People are mostly good. Never forget that. Someday when you grow up, maybe you’ll feel like people in the world are out to get you or take advantage of you. You might feel weak somehow, like you can’t do the things that you want to do. Some people might want to take from you. Some people might say some bad things to you - either to your face or behind your back. Some people might even hurt you in ways that take a long time to get over. But never forget that people in this world are mostly good. And you must always look to those people to have your back. Sometimes it’s hard to trust in the goodness of the world. Sometimes I even forget that. But if you are just open to the goodness in the world, then it will come to you. Remember, goodness came to us for this part of our big trip - someone special was looking out for us and especially for your Aunt Hale. 

            Do you know one of the reasons that we chose to come to this city in particular? Remember our continents song? We are in South America. It’s our last part! And we are in a big city called Rio - the biggest from our whole trip! But it’s a fun place to be. Even though I still miss you both like crazy, I want you to know that I have having a wonderful time. I am having a great time with your uncles. They had an eating contest - can you believe your Uncle Harry would do something like that? And with your Uncle Check. No, I didn’t compete - not with them! But I did have lots of yummy chicken. Here in Brazil, they bring you a big piece of meat right to your table, and a man cuts it onto your plate with a big knife. You have to have a big appetite to eat at a place like that! Does it sound weird? It’s good! Maybe we can try it at the house one day.

The main reason we are here though isn’t to eat. No! We are still spreading your grandpa’s love around the world. Remember, just like Uncle Harry wrote in his stories in the newspaper, we are on a special journey for grandpa. And even though we had a funeral and a special remembrance for him, it doesn’t mean that he isn’t there with us. We just can’t see him anymore. Grandpa is all around us  - in the places that we go, watching the things that we do, even helping us when things don’t go the way we want them to.

We visited a big statue that looks just like the one on the altar of our church. It’s called Christ the Redeemer. Do you know what “Redeemer” means? This means that someone has rescued us. It’s a word that you’ll hear a lot in church. But you know what? It can be used in a lot of other places as well. You can be redeemed from lots of different things! You can be redeemed from failure. You can be redeemed from being hurt. You can be redeemed from fear. It’s another reason that we should never give up, and always trust that things are going to be OK.

Next, we will go to our last continent, way down at the bottom of the earth. If you take a globe and turn it upside down, you’ll see a big white patch of land. That’s where Mommy and your aunt and uncles are going next. It will be super-duper cold there, but don’t worry - we will be on a big, warm boat, where we’ll be looking out for penguins, seals, and whales! We will have to look out for big chunks of ice while we are sailing down there. I hope we don’t fall off the earth! Just kidding - everything will be just fine! Maybe Daddy can show you some videos about Antarctica so you can see where I am going. Have we watched that penguin movie together yet? I think you would love it. Maybe I’ll make one of my own!

Mommy won’t be able to call or send you messages from down there in Antarctica. I told Daddy that I will try to call before I get on the boat. But after that, you’ll just have to trust that I’m there with you, even though I am far away. I hope you are saying your prayers each night, you and Daddy together. And maybe if you concentrate hard enough right before bed and close your eyes real tight, you’ll be able to feel me praying there with you.

I’m so proud of you both. Eli - you are doing so much better in school, and I can tell you are really trying hard. Noah - I think all the help that you have been giving your brother and all the love that you have been showing him is really paying off. You keep on doing your homework, and I know you’ll do great things in the world - I mean that! You can do anything you set your mind to. And whatever you want to do, wherever that might be, I’ll support you every step of the way. I love you both very much, and I will be back with you in just a couple of short weeks. 

Just remember that someone is always out there looking over us. Someone good and right is there, keeping us safe from somewhere up above, right beyond the sunshine.

 

See you soon!

Love,

Mommy

Reviews

[Richard Knox]

Greg, this chapter is very powerful, as I’m sure you intended. I actually read it through twice on different days. The first time there were several Moments that brought tears to my eyes and a lump in my throat. I thought maybe it was just my state of mind at the time. But the same thing happened when I read it again just now. Very, very good writing! In many ways Ginny was the least sympathetic character to me: a victim who had no sense of self. But the way she begins to be less fearful and become her own person fills me with hope.
There was this one sentence, about halfway through, that didn’t make sense to me: “She hadn’t said anything about the pickpocketing, and I don’t really know if she did.” You might want to check it.

[Greg Herb]

That's very flattering that you not only took the time to read this part, but twice, and I am glad that the emotion carried across. Your capitalization of Moment made me look over and realize that all of those instances in this chapter are capitalized (thanks for your subtle correction there haha) - weird! I will definitely check over the grammar and especially the sense of that sentence. I am very grateful that you are taking the time to really have a look at this book, and the things you are noticing are very helpful! Much appreciated
- Greg

[Richard Knox]

Hi Greg, I capitalized Moment as a nod to your use of capitalization, not as a correction. I assumed you had done it intentionally, and interpreted as a subtle expression of Ginny’s state of mind…that she thought of those Moments as being divinely given, perhaps?