I am the abuse you lived

n lifes terms for many

I am the vile abusive drug using sperm donor

I am your misguided drug using pregnant mother

I am the drugs flowing through you system at birth

I am the neglect you received as a baby

I am the doorsteps you were randomly left on

I am the shame in your italian families life that makes them walk away

I am the state which you became the property of

 

I am your new family that brought you to a new home

I am the day when at the age of 5 that you heard the words, you are adopted beacause you werent not wanted, not loved, by your real mom and dad and you were like a rope around your mothers neck killing her

I am the daily emotional, verbal, and physical torture that would experience the next 9 years of your life

I am the hair and roots from your scalp yanked regularly from your head

I am the water running from the bath tub faucet suffocating your breath

I am the forks, knives, and glass that penetrated your skin

I am the fist, hands, shoes, and wooden objects that blackened and blue'd your skin

I am the room you would be kept in for weeks and months at a time with nothing in it and no contact from anyone as another form of punishment when you were 8, 9, and 10

 

I am the adopted father who turned a blind eye towards it all or was never around to see the rest but apologized to you for it later in life

I am the one who threatened to take you back to the orphanage, which at the time you wished they did

I am the one who emotionally and mentally robbed your spirit and soul

I am the pain, despair, misery, hurt, loneliness, and hopelessness you lived in and felt every day

I am the love that you never experienced or felt but always wanted to have

I am the hole and emptiness that was in your heart

I am the kid that no one ever really knew

 

I am the death that you welcomed, wanted and tried for numerous times but never accomplished

I am the emotions and feelings that you bottled away

I am the secrets that you never fully told 

I am the fake smile that you use to put on your face

I am the peace and happiness that you didnt get have

I am the wishes for a good family and love that never came true

 

I am the silence in your head and heart that you so desperately but eluded you

I am the dream and hopes of meeting your real parents, that destroyed you even further once you did

I am the drugs that you turned to, which became your escape to numb your bottomless pain

I am the man who moved beyond that at the age of 23

I am the man who was once the victim but returned as a survivor

I am the abuse that you once lived

Author's Note

This is obviously a true story that many people have lived or are currently living in now