My Dress

 

My Dress

my dress is sewn of silk

as soft as falling snow

 

and has a graceful train

like a river it does flow

 

my dress should bring me tears

of bliss, pleasure, delight

 

but instead it brings me tears

of grief, misery, and fright

 

my dress is the reason

that I am here today

 

for it is the dress that I shall wear

on my wedding day

 

Author's Note

What do you think?

Reviews

[misha]

I really liked this piece. It was short and simple but it was the simplicity that made it beautiful.

[Zeek4]

Short, sweet, and beautiful.

[Shimmerbliss/CAF]

This was an interesting write. It describes a sad scenario that was unexpected. I enjoyed reading it In spite of the troubling situation. It left me wondering what the story behind the poem is.

The only thing that could be tweaked, is the 4th stanza. I had a bit of trouble with the flow there, although it was minor.

I would offer these suggestions, if you think they have merit:
consider changing the second "tears" to "fears" and possibly omitting "but" in the first line of that stanza (instead says it better and stands alone) and "grief" in the second line. That way you would not need to repeat the word "tears" (you may have intended to do this for your own reasons - just my take.) The words would flow better and still get the point across. Hope you don't mind the suggestions. The poem is unique and you did a good job. It was just those small things in the mentioned stanza.

I look forward to reading more of your work.

[Betty Boop]

I love it! Nice similes, wonderful rhythm. I honestly cannot say anything bad about your poem!