6 months

Happy fourth, Oak. I cant remember whether we spent one together or not

7/4/17

Dear best friend,

It has been six months exactly since i last saw your face and wrapped my arms around you. Six months since I drove away from Olive Garden with tears in my eyes.

I read through our messages. I only have ones from August 2016 and down, but it still shows just how close we are. Yet again, im thankful for every selfie, every video, every little glimpse of you i can get. It reminds me that you are, in my mind, perfect, and it reminds me that you will always be you.

Im on the road right now. We're doing our yearly summer vacation to Michigan. I can only imagine all the s****y things ill get to hear my family say while im there. Maybe we'll get to leave early again.

I saw you visited for Fathers Day. I feel awful that i cant even see you while you're near me. Maybe they wont let you, or maybe my mom won't. I have a car. You hopefully still have my number. Maybe one day you can hit me up and we'll take off on an adventure out of that town. The trouble would be worth it.

A friend of mine thinks she has feelings for me. She only says she thinks because she is questioning her romantic orientation. I totally understand that, and im trying to help her figure it out. I really like her. If only she didnt live so far from me.

I think you'll be happy to know my style is finally picking up. I'm slowly gaining more clothes that are what I want them to be. Its stupid that my mother wants to censor the clothes i want to wear. Im insecure enough to know when to stop. Some day she'll get that through her head. Among other things.

My aunt is helping me get out of Florida. She's going to take me on college tours that are hours away from home so that I don't have to go back. Maybe then ill join a club and be who i want without hiding it. I could even celebrate pride.

I miss the sound of your voice, and I miss stealing your clothes and letting you do my hair and makeup. I miss feeling you breathe when i hug you and i only wish i could gush over how cute your hair looks now that its cut. I hope you are happy, and I hope you feel safe. I love you so much.