September Fourth

You're sixty-eight point three miles away right now and it kills me to know i forgot to say happy birthday yesterday, but i guess i gave you your present and that made up for it.
I wear your shirt with pride and when my mom asks where i got it i can't look at her with a straight face but i lie to her all the same just like you'd want me to.
I can't look at the number six without thinking of how many of them we threw in the trash when we were done, and that makes me laugh
I'll pass that place everyday now and i'll start to glow when i pass our room, i'll have to remember. But i want to.
Honestly i remember the time, it was six twenty-four and i set my alarm to wake me up in the morning a whole six minutes early just to remember when i sent you out for more.
I hear girls talking about how much they regret it and i look at their pathetic beings and remember i did what they did and i was sure and am sure, and that right there makes me better. But you already taught me that in other ways.
I took a shower and i went to put panties on and i noticed that mark and i had to sit down for a second to remember it all once again. Sometimes i wish hickeys were permanent.
You know, i bet you'd be proud now if you read this, i'm not insecure anymore. I don't look at my stomach is horror or any part of my body. I guess it just took twelve hours of being naked and making love to figure it out that i'm not hideous. Whatever works, right?
Making love, having sex, i pity those who don't know the difference. Lust and love are different. I will never be one of those girls who can't tell the difference. And i'll never regret what we did.
When i think about it, it was like a pretty song  that i wanted to have on repeat for months at a time. It was perfect and i wanted to replay it over and over to make sure i heard every quiet note... But i guess it wasn't very quiet.
September fourth was a full moon and you said it was out just for us to let out our animals. I laughed and said no. But i guess i was wrong.
Anyway, i'm going to bed. It's sad. It cost seventy-four dollars to have sex with you and neither of us are prostitutes. We had to pay to genuinely show that we love eachother and wanted to be intimate.

Ps. My parents are in the room next to me and i'm putting in my ear plugs now because they're doing the deed but it's not half as attractive as when we did. In fact it makes me gag.