Grandmother No. 3

here I am again
sitting on my knees in the wooden estate of this church
it’s on fire, I swear I can smell it in your clothes
but don’t worry, I’m drowning, I’m drowning
I’ve got so much water in my bones
I’ll put it out by myself
I’ll save the world by myself
Just go home

S**t, here I am again!
making you proud in the backseat of my car
his eyes are windows but the curtains were painted on
so the whole world’s watching me fall
watching me betray God for me and for love,
I’m the biggest heretic of all
but don’t worry, I’m drowning, I'm drowning
Rebekah’s helping me hold my breath
I’ll save my virtue by myself
I’ll start eating again by myself
Just go home

Goddamn, here I am again!

listening to the ambulances sing through my headphones

they tell me I killed you ‘cause I never loved you right
don’t listen, they’re lying, they’re lying
I wrote you poems and prayed for your soul
God just won’t exist for me
God doesn’t want to talk to me
I guess the funeral’s gonna be fucked up in the rain
but don’t worry, I’m already drowning
the water’s not even that cold
I’ll dig the hole and kill the drugs that stole my body
all by myself
just make sure that you find your way home

Reviews

[Another Relic]

Really refreshing read compared to some others I've read lately. You have a nice style. Sad poem with some eye opening elements. Nice job on this one.

[sushi]

Wonderful writing!!!!

The call for the lost happiness and relations to return, knowingly that they are lost forever.
"just make sure that you find your way home"
Wonderfully structured.

We share the same feelings.

[Deepshikha]

This is a journey, isn't it? A journey of discovering yourself, in a way. I didn't realize it at first, and thought it was about the "Grandma", but then I reread it. It's amazing the way you did it. And the last lines are the best of the poem. "just make sure that you find your way home" is just so fitting, for lack of a better word.