What have I been doing.

What have i been doing all this time?

suddenly I feel like i’ve missed my chance to drive,

my life is rolling, right rolling, out of control.
it all feels like a repeat,

of some long ago dream,

who am I to question the right of God,

but here I am anyway. Like I’ve always  said,

nothing gets better till it gets worse,

so I’d hate to fall from this high horse I’ve

been feeding for the past few months.

love beats hard against my chest,

everything has to collapse soon, right?

but I’m fighting the urge to run, trying to

control those demons that I used to think

ran this petty life of mine.

I am trying, hard, to not see the dark side

but only the light. Opening my eyes as wide

as they can get to let even the littlest of brightness in.

I have to survive this down time of mine.

because you’re the only thing I’ve ever been looking for.

and I will NOT give in that easily.

Work is drowning, cutting hours and I’m tied to

its sinking ship, school feels endless,

and I don’t know what I’m going to do with

           my life.