I can't keep it up all the time.

i spend a while driving aimlessly around old town.

                                no, aimless isn’t quite right.

                i know where i wanted to be.

                          

                yet, its exactly where i couldn’t find myself.

there is an easiness

                peace

                simplicity  

to your presence,

a drug of sorts.

 

 

because, in honesty.                      no.

                              i wasn’t.

                                i am not.

 

 

 

everything feels like its failing

and its funny cause, you brought up

                                exactly what i’ve been debating.

 

tomorrow seems so unlikely.

 

 

 

but how do i say that?

                say that,

yes for the first time

                                                                in a good                              while

                   i do not want to face

                                the day light.

i would like to

                curl up

        tight

                  forget that i have to be everything

                                to so many.

 

how do i say that

    each smile feels etched?

 

 

 

[i am not sure that

when the sun awakens tomorrow

i will be as completely intact

as i am tonight.]

 

it is a promise

                                i wish i could make

but wont.

                know this much,

i would never

lie.