Christmas Reminder

I am breaking to pieces, bits of me

being grabbed, and snabbed  by those around me.

I am falling apart. And you are coming home

to be the last of the ruin for me.

 

 

In the cold of december, I remind myself

that of course I can survive alone, that I’ve been

doing it for years.

And that, chirstmas will not hurt anymore

than anything else. I can bite any bullet and pull

through whatever is needed.

In a room full of people, or a crowed concert hall,

either way, in the end, I’m a solo patron.

 

I am ready.

                [i am lying]

I am not hurting.

the idea of your face does not haunt me.

 

 

Tomorrow starts to dawn of my eclipse.
I will disappear while you reappear

and we shall never collide in a mixture of

rushed awkward hello’s and stares.

I am prepared to sacrifice myself to evenings

alone, to allow you to be surrounded and loved.

                                you mean that much to me.