Potatoes

You fall into my mind as I stand

peeling potatoes for this holiday that

I see no point in.

 

Quick flashes of the underside

of the grand piano

with the smell of must and your

mixed unplaceable perfume.

I can hear you in the kitchen, feel

the bodies of relatives moving through the

house. Stay hidden under here with

my cousin as we discus nothing,

play with horses older than we are

and make up everything.

The smell of your food penetrates our

dark castle, and we emerge

hungry and happy.  Smiles passed

around freely.

 

Next year, we

arrive too late

you’re laying cold

surrounded by tearing

family. And all the colour

drains. The house now

breathes in black and white.

The 25^th, darkest hour.

But the dawn was not in sight.

Everyone had already

made their flights

all here, teary eyed,

but here all the same.

Find the familiar rooms,

take bunk and prepare.

Food must be made,

in your kitchen.

I can not hide under the

piano, making up stories

because mourners

pour into the house

and we have a feast not

to be thankful, but to

feel wanting. Missing.

                                and lonely.

 

I curl myself into the smallest

ball, under the desk in the

dinning room. Watching the

table be set, and my heart

waiting to hear your voice.

I am still to young to understand

that you’re not coming back.

 

 

 

 

With this half peeled potato in my

hand. I have to remember to keep

my face cheerful. To push out the

idea that, yes, I am thankful.

No one is joining us.

Alone in our mock thankfulness.

Sure we have a roof, food

and this mix-matched family.

But we all know we’re lonely.

Reviews

[~Mary Ann~]

This piece brings tears to my eyes... such loneliness and sadness. It is hard around the holidays when you have just lost a loved one. I wish you peace and please remember that you all still have each other. :)
The one you have lost is not far but with you still... if not in body then is spirit.

Thank you for sharing your heart...

I wish you a warm and peaceful Thanksgiving.. :p

[Creepy Swine Guy]

I know your pain. My father left us on Sept 25th this year. But it seems to me that even in this terribly sad poem, I see that you have something to be grateful for; you have memories. Those will hurt less and hold more value as the years pass by.

The nit-picker in me says to tell you that in ...

"I am still to young to understand"

... change "to" to "too"

But back to the sadness. I promise you it will abate, it always does with time. the day will come when you will only recall the fond memories and not the hurt.

I wish you speed in reaching that day.

[Philosophile. (Maddy)]

Great job with this! The "Potato" title attracted me, but I didn't expect this at all. You present your emotions during potato peeling well. It reminds me of how my mind wanders, too, while doing small things. Very well written!

[Aaron B.]

I really liked this...

so strong and well written...the emotions really come through...

foreal...this made me cry...it was that good.

keep up the good work :]

[Arthur Crow]

This is sad and very moving.. such a deep out pouring of emotion that resonates deeply.
Even in the sullen tones you still create a well crafted poem that oozes with much substance from the soul.

[John A Common]

Great work,my mother died this year and my family has all moved away. I can so relate to this. You are right,it can never be the same.