Building Up

And this is when all the dams I’ve been building

all month, crash.

                                burn.

 

there is blood everywhere

                                And        I can’t breathe correctly.

 

                all the stuff I’d been balling up

                    swallowing and ignoring the burn as it went down

it is all coming back up.

 

Nothing is right. all of the

                                “this is just how life is”

   things, f*****g collapsed tonight.

 

I cannot think straight.

 

Hugging you was the worst mistake. Because

now all I can smell,

                is your bad mix of cigarettes

and being homeless.

 

I hate that seeing you,

                hearing you talk

makes me feel this way

                still.

 

 

All of the stuff that I was so sure of,

                like the fact that I could live without you.

they’re all laying drenched in blood and shattered on the floor.

I am not going to make it through this.

                                tonight has to be the end of it.

because with every breath,

my lungs are being ripped to shreds

by the harsh leftovers of my heart.

 

                there isn’t much keeping me here anyway.

 

Reviews

[PianoandPage]

rachel, you are definately good at expressing a sort of desperate love/hate dear john letter.

i think that you are still working out the metaphors and style of your poetry although you are obviously prolific and have been writing with experience.

i feel like you could pull out something more but i'm not sure what.

this stanza just made me smile real big like.

"Hugging you was the worst mistake. Because

now all I can smell,

is your bad mix of cigarettes

and being homeless."


that's awesome. good spoken work bit right there.

[Aaron B.]

Dang I hate it when I accidentally delete my reviews!!!

GAHHH

anyway

I feel like I say the same thing every time I review someones work...

haha but seriously i really like this one.

I really like how you paint a picture of what it feels like to be crushed by someone. The emotions are very raw and I always love brutally honest poetry. I like how you sum up the emtotion of wanting to do something rash like driving to Canada just to get away(might just be me but I like Canada haha) from EVERYTHING.