[Instead of] Sheep

brand new now makes my jaw ache.

my heart beat speed and everything fuzz out.

nothing right now is working how it should.

 

                do not love me.

                stop trying to drown your misery in my smile.

                I am not your dumping ground for

                lost dreams and forgotten lullabies

 

                 please forget me. Move on from me.

           anything other than stay here

                                and rot with me.

but, even as that request spills from

my tear stained lips,

I regret it. Reach out too slow to take it back

but try anyway. I am not

going to survive this.

                I hope you know that

with every heartbreak

                another scar grows out of my flesh.

I am breathing razorblades into my pillow

and counting butterfly sutures instead of sheep

 

Reviews

[Mouse]

this is good Rachel. you are a good writer. Original. I have faith that you can create new ways of living that will give you reason keep on keeping on. I had to do it. It was that or buy a bunch of heroin and go out with a smile.

I think it's better to sink on a ship of drunken sailors, singing some old blasphemous tune, than by yourself on some raft in the fog.

Have you ever shot a metaphorical arrow straight into the sky and stood still in hopes that it does or doesn't come down right on top of your head?

[Chad Halle]

brilliance in these lines
i feel as if everyone has felt similar to this...in a way or another
most people get through it
none as beautifully as these words

[PianoandPage]

you have an interesting sort of assymetry and off-ness that works.

you have some genius lines here that make me jealous

"stop trying to drown your misery in my smile."

"I am breathing razorblades into my pillow
and counting butterfly sutures instead of sheep"

[Pink Poison]

This is fantastic. I love the poem from the title to the completely awe inspiring ending. You are incredibly talented. These lines make me want to give you a trophy or something :)

"with every heartbreak
another scar grows out of my flesh.
I am breathing razorblades into my pillow
and counting butterfly sutures instead of sheep"

I can feel this poem so deeply, it seems like a living thing. Very powerful poem, Rachel. Truly great work. You should publish this.