I wish I could have

Awkward tension. I should not be here.

Shouldn't be here.

this was a bad idea all around.

         this whole night.

stupid shirt and stupid hair.

me talking and not giving a care.

I need to crawl back, and away.

I need not to be thinking this way.

Something shifted fast and stealthy,

           quick and suddenly,

I am left un guarded.

   I hate being out and about.

making conversation with this somehow

"in" crowd. I'm going now.

running faster than these wobbling

legs will let me. Falling

flailing, something isn't clicking.

 

I need to leave. Quickly.

But.

   and this is what kept me.

there is something nice about

feeling wanted. even if glancing back.

it was all so very half hearted.

   late night gallivants, I'm

all for them. but I am left with this

nervous feeling of not

fitting quite right with your

obtuse pieces.

 

I am too old. Too something.

Not enough "scene" kid pumping though

my system.

Please forgive, my over

thought comments and suggestions.

Shove needles through your

lips in raining parking lots.

And keep running full force

into your mortality. I wish

I could have.

Author's Note

Just something I wrote quickly and without any editing, this might come down later, so let me know what you think now.

Reviews

[Pink Poison]

I love the way this ends. Great poem, as usual. I agree with Dancer, you have captured the essence of social anxiety with this poem. What a rotten feeling, but all too familair. Great job!

[Lady Lazarus.]

you describe social anxiety to a tee.
absolutely breathtaking work which I can relate to a lot.
a scence of mis-shape in a world that deems us unfit.
remarkably beautiful.