[untitled]

..... breathing would be nice right now.

                                                 “be safe”

I guess I’m not perfect.

                not her.

not whatever.

                                yes I’ve kissed a girl.

yes I’ve slashed the hell out of my skin.

and yes I’ve done terrible things you see as sin.

I knew all of it.

             “be safe”

but then you said it

and everything crashed.

                                it hit me,

                                i am not good enough.

not anything enough.

              “be safe”

I want to run.

pick up everything and high tail it.

                you’d miss me,

                right.

I don’t want to be missed

to be pitied.

                yes save me.

              “be safe”

the air isn’t making it into my lungs

my breath too short and quick

for any oxygen to make it

in. I wish I hadn’t eaten

dry heaves would be better than this.

                “be safe”

Panic. F**k this.

why not make a mess of things

                sense she already hates me

even if you say you wont,

even if I thought you wouldnt.

I’m sure you’ll see it soon enough,

I’m not easy to love, and not easy to care for.

                   “be safe”

I really do f**k everything up.

with my sailor sally mouth

and lips tainted with cherry chapstick

i love you more than I thought I could,

                   “be safe”

and thats why this hurts so much.

                    “be safe”

 

I wonder,

did you tell her you could have felt the same?

                       “be safe”

                                “yeah, I’ll try.”

 

Author's Note

I probably wont feel like this tomorrow.
but right now I have just a deadly enough mix of Jolt, lack of sleep, and too much food in my system, and I need something to let it out a little.

I really don't mean it.
I love you.

Reviews

[Colleen C Dunphy]

this absolutely made me cry... it felt like you pulled the words right out of my soul...
i don't think i could say anything more than that.