Here's the rest.

This is for a boy who has dropped into my life, and no matter what happens, means the world to me.

A heartbeat flutter, face flushed and
knees almost weak.
Caught between what I know I should do,
and what I want to.
This isn’t my normal eternal turmoil.
Cause my choice could change you too.
            and see here’s the thing.       
                you mean just enough to me
 that I wouldn’t ever want
                        to hurt you.

And sitting here. Thinking over the
    long night conversations   
        that seem to be shaping my life
            more and         more.
What am I to do?
I will never confess. Never hurt
                you.
Never put you in the tight spot where you’d have to choose.
Cause I know I’d make the choice for you.
        her.
                Not.
                Never
                Ever.       
        me.


And I am left with a single idea.
One simple thing that keeps popping back into
my head.
    God put you here. Put us here.
    You even admit, you don’t know why we ever
    started conversing. It’s all one big mystery.


And.
    Now I am faced with another Big question...
Do I even post this? Do I let you in?
    Cause truthfully, you already know I’m
                not a liar in the least.
So how can I lie about this?

But I told you I wouldn’t put you on the spot.
So maybe this will just rot in my head, and things
will just keep going the way they have been.

Reviews

[No]

oh i love this!
please don't change it.
i know the spot you're in, i can taste the way the words stick in your mouth, in the position where you can say only a thousandth of the thoughts in your mind for fear that you'll say something out of place.
god, i know this is awful. i've got my own story, "mary kate vs. mary jane", but i'm pretty sure yours differs considering not much rhymes with rachel.
i know that sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach when he talks about her when all you really want him to talk about is you.
but you can't. because you feel you don't deserve him. you don't deserve her rightful spot.
you feel like you deserve to be stuck in this spot where you feel like nothing you say will end up good, and you don't want to say drop it and lose him, but you don't want to stay and get hurt.
either way, let me tell you, it hurts.
and there's no need to hurt yourself anymore than what eventually will, because thats enough, and you deserve better.

all this poignant emotion summed up into one brilliant, beautiful, shortened poem, from my point of view would be
"Caught between what I know I should do,
and what I want to.
Cause my choice could change you too.
Thinking over the
conversations
that seem to be shaping my life
more and more.
but I'll never confess. Never hurt
you.

Cause I know I'd make the choice for you.
her.
Not.
Never
Ever.
me.
God put you here. Put us here.
but in retrospect,
Do I even post this? Do I let you in?
Cause truthfully, you already know I'm
not a liar in the least."

not saying any of what you have is insignificant, but these are the lines that truly stood out to me and made this poem mean.

[Pink Poison]

This is a wonderful ending to the first part. Very nice set of poems.

[Brian 'Yeti' Fields]

I feel your pain in this poem. It tugs at my heart because I've been there before. Again, your layouts amaze me. Your words are still pulling tears into my eyes. I'm glad you chose to post this.

On another note, keep your head up. Its always better in the end...if its not better, its not the end.